Find a therapist who understands your background.

Recognizable questions Why doesn’t my therapist understand why leaving my faith has been so overwhelming? Does a psychologist need experience with Jehovah’s Getuigen? Where can I look for someone who is familiar with religious or worldview-related issues? What can I ask during an initial session? And how do I know whether a therapist is a good fit for me? Leaving a religious community can mean much more than simply believing differently. For some former Jehovah’s Getuigen, family contact, social network, identity, outlook on the future, and ideas about right and wrong change all at the same time. Others mainly feel relief, or have few psychological problems after leaving. So there is no single standard experience of an ex-JG. But when you do need help, it can be reassuring if a therapist understands that religion can be woven much more deeply into a life than just the question: ‘Do you still believe in God?’ Does your therapist need to know Jehovah’s Getuigen? Not necessarily. Of course, it can be reassuring if a therapist already has experience with former Jehovah’s Getuigen or other highly structured religious communities. But a therapist who knows little about that may also be a good fit for you. Perhaps a more important question is: Is this person willing to listen and take my religious background seriously without deciding for me in advance what I should believe? A good therapist does not need to be for or against Jehovah’s Getuigen. He or she also does not need to tell you that your faith was wrong. What matters is that there is room for your experience . What can you search for? There is no official Dutch specialization ‘therapist for ex-Jehovah’s Getuigen’. You can, however, look for care providers who have experience with or an affinity for topics that may connect with your situation, for example: religion, worldview, and meaning; loss of identity; family ruptures and grief; trauma or prolonged stress; coercive control or psychological manipulation; leaving closed or tightly knit communities; ‘religious trauma’ or spiritual abuse . Not everyone who leaves Jehovah’s Getuigen has a trauma. And not every difficult religious experience needs to be labeled as trauma. Start with your huisarts When psychological complaints affect your daily functioning, your huisarts can be a good first step. For insured treatment within the GGZ, a referral is usually needed, generally from the huisarts. GGZ is covered under conditions within the basic package, but the exact reimbursement can vary by treatment, care provider, policy, and insurer. For GGZ, the deductible may also apply. You could explain to your huisarts, for example: ‘My complaints are related to leaving a religious community and losing family, social contacts, and identity. I am looking for someone who is willing to take that background into account in my treatment.’ That tells much more than just: ‘I feel down.’ Check who you’re dealing with When someone presents themselves as a healthcare psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, or psychiatrist, you can check via the official BIG register whether that care provider is registered. A BIG registration indicates that someone meets the legal requirements for that protected profession. Search the official BIG register The BIG register does not automatically tell you whether someone has experience with Jehovah’s Getuigen, religious communities, or your specific issues. For that, you can look at the practice website or simply ask. In JW.World, under the category professional help , there are professionals who are specialized. What can you ask before treatment? You do not have to wait until you are five sessions in. During an introductory meeting, you can ask, for example: ‘Do you have experience with people who have left a highly religious or closed community?’ Or: ‘Are you familiar with problems around loss of faith, exclusion, family ruptures, and loss of identity?’ And perhaps even more important: ‘If you have little experience with this, are you willing to learn more about my background?’ An honest answer such as: ‘I don’t know Jehovah’s Getuigen well, but I want to understand what this means for you’ can sometimes be more valuable than someone who thinks they know exactly what your life was like after reading one article. When might a therapist not be a good match? For example, pay attention if you notice that a therapist repeatedly minimizes your experience. For example: ‘But you’re out now, aren’t you?’ ‘Why don’t you just move on?’ I would also be cautious when a helper tries to determine, from their own worldview, what you should believe. That goes both ways . A therapist should not push you toward returning to a faith because they value religion. But a therapist should also not decide for you that religion is harmful and that you must give up your faith. Your conviction is not the therapist’s project. Your well-being comes first. If after a few sessions you notice that someone fundamentally does not understand your background and also makes little effort to understand it, you may discuss whether another practitioner is a better fit for you. Changing practitioners is not a failure. Sometimes there simply is no good match. Contact with fellow sufferers can offer something different Professional help and contact with fellow sufferers serve different purposes. A psychologist can provide treatment. A fellow sufferer may say something else: ‘I know exactly what you mean when you say you were afraid of running into someone from the congregation.’ That recognition can be tremendously valuable. Through online communities, and this Forum, ex-JG’s can exchange experiences relatively easily. But fellow sufferers are not a substitute for professional treatment when that is needed. I think that distinction is important for ExJW.World. And if you are still one of Jehovah’s Getuigen? Even then, you are allowed to seek professional help. You do not first have to leave the organization before you can talk to a psychologist about fear, guilt, family relationships, doubt, or identity. And a therapist does not have to convince you to stay or leave. That fits exactly with the starting point of ExJW.World: not determining the outcome, but creating space to understand what is happening to you and to make your own choices. Books and additional information Some people find recognition in books about religious change or influence, for example Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell or work by Steven Hassan. Or, by Raymond Franz, Crisis of Conscience. Do not see such books as a replacement for treatment or as proof that every religious experience is the same. Use them as perspectives. Read critically. See what does and does not fit your experience. When you need someone right away When you mainly need someone to listen, De Luisterlijn can be reached by phone 24 hours a day at 088 0767 000 . The conversations are anonymous; standard call charges from your provider apply. De Luisterlijn If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact 113 Suicide Prevention . In immediate life-threatening danger: call 112 . In conclusion The right therapist does not have to have experienced your history personally. They do not even have to know everything about Jehovah’s Witnesses. But you should feel: My story is taken seriously. I do not have to keep defending my entire background. My therapist is trying to understand what my faith, doubt, or leaving has meant for me. And perhaps most importantly: No one here decides for me what I ultimately must believe. That applies to an ex-JG who no longer believes, to someone who is questioning, and to a Jehovah’s Getuige who seeks professional help and wants to keep their faith.