First steps after leaving: a practical checklist

First steps after leaving: a practical checklist What you can do in the first months after you leave the congregation The first period after leaving is for many people a mix of relief, confusion, and emptiness. There are no fixed rules anymore, but there is also no structure anymore. This checklist helps you get started — not as a mandatory to-do list, but as something to lean on. Administrative & legal Make sure your identity documents are in your own possession. Passport, ID card, driver’s license: make sure you can access these yourself, regardless of your living situation. Open your own bank account if you don’t already have one, one that your parents or other family members cannot view or block. Check your insurance policies. Health insurance, liability insurance — especially if you were always covered through a family policy. Create your own email address that others do not know, for confidential matters. Consider deregistering from the municipality (see also the article on disfellowshipping and the right to erasure of data). Financial Map out what you earn and what you spend. If you never studied: look into eligibility for student finance (in the Netherlands up to age 30 if you still do not have a basic qualification). Know that you are entitled to allowances (rent, healthcare) if you live independently and have a low income. Check with DUO.nl whether you are eligible for a loan or grant. Social Don’t force anything. You do not have to build a new circle of friends within six months. Seek out environments that fit what you find interesting — a sports club, course, volunteering. Not because you have to, but as a way to meet people without the primary goal being “making friends.” Consider an online community for ex-JG. It can help to talk with people who have the same background. Mental & emotional Give yourself time. It is normal for the first period to feel unsettled. Consider talking to a therapist who has experience with religious trauma or life events. A referral through the GP is often enough for reimbursed care. Know that grief, anger, and doubt are all normal reactions — sometimes all at once. What you do not have to do You do not have to tell everyone right away that you have left. You do not have to decide what you believe before you are ready. You do not have to sever or repair all ties at once. There is no deadline. Most people who leave the organization describe it as a process lasting years, not a one-time step.