V - Removal

Recognizable questions What does ‘removed from the congregation’ mean among Jehovah’s Witnesses? Is this the same as what used to be called ‘disfellowshipping’? Why can someone be removed? Who makes that decision? What changes afterward in contact with other JWs? Is someone still allowed to attend meetings? Can someone come back later? Do congregation members realize what removal can feel like for someone? What does it do to a person when a large part of their social network falls away? Why can fear, guilt, and shame linger? Is ‘you chose this yourself’ a reasonable response? Why does someone sometimes want to return even though they are no longer sure they still believe? And how do you build a new life and social network when almost everything for years was tied to the congregation? What does removal mean? Within Jehovah’s Witnesses, removal means that a baptized Jehovah’s Witness is no longer regarded as a member of the congregation. According to the current explanation, someone can be removed from the congregation if they commit a serious sin, continue in it, and, according to the elders, show no repentance. Before removal is carried out, the elders try to help the person change their conduct, according to the organization. When it is finally decided to remove someone, the congregation is informed that the person concerned is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses . It used to be called ‘disfellowshipping’ Many current and former Jehovah’s Witnesses are most familiar with the word disfellowshipping . That is not surprising. Jehovah’s Witnesses used this term for decades. In 2024, the official terminology changed. The organization now speaks of someone being ‘removed from the congregation’ . That did not make the measure itself disappear. Alongside the change in terminology, certain procedures and rules for dealing with such a person were also adjusted in 2024. That is why in older publications and among former JWs you will still often encounter the words disfellowshipping and disfellowshipped . Why can someone be removed? According to Jehovah’s Witnesses, removal is not simply about making a mistake. The organization distinguishes between someone who commits a serious sin and shows repentance, and someone who, according to the elders, is unwilling to change their conduct. Examples of serious sins given by the organization include sexual immorality, drunkenness, theft, and other behavior that it considers contrary to Bible-based moral standards. Certain forms of apostasy can also be grounds for removal. So according to the official explanation, it is not only about what someone has done , but also whether they show repentance and are willing to change their conduct. Who decides on removal? The decision is not made by the entire congregation. The matter is handled by the elders . Since the changes announced in 2024, extra emphasis has been placed on efforts to bring someone to repentance. When, according to the elders, someone still shows no repentance despite that help and continues in behavior that conflicts with Bible-based standards, removal can follow. The congregation is then simply informed that the person is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. The details of the case are normally not mentioned in that announcement. Why do Jehovah’s Witnesses remove someone? Jehovah’s Witnesses give several religious reasons for this. According to their explanation, removal protects the moral and spiritual purity of the congregation and prevents serious wrongdoing from influencing other congregation members. In addition, they believe the measure can help the removed person realize that their conduct needs to change and move them to repent and return to Jehovah. Jehovah’s Witnesses therefore present removal themselves as a Biblical and ultimately loving measure . That perspective is important to understand, even when the person who has been removed experiences the consequences very differently. What changes in contact? This is the most far-reaching part for many people. According to the current official explanation, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not keep up socializing with someone who has been removed from the congregation. In this context, the organization refers, among other things, to 1 Corinthians 5:11. At the same time, since the 2024 changes, it is stated more clearly that a removed person does not have to be completely ignored . For example, a JW may choose to greet someone who has been removed and is attending a meeting. A JW may also invite someone to come to a meeting. The current situation is therefore more nuanced than simply: ‘You are not allowed to speak to a removed person at all.’ Are there exceptions? Yes. The current official explanation makes a distinction for people whom Jehovah’s Witnesses say actively try to undermine the congregation or actively promote wrongdoing. This refers, among other scriptures, to 2 John 9-11. In such cases, it is said that the person should not be greeted. So not every disfellowshipped person is treated exactly the same way under the current instructions. What happens within a family? Nuance is important here too. When a disfellowshipped person lives with their spouse and young children who remain Jehovah’s Witnesses, the organization says that the blood tie and family bond remain . According to the official explanation, normal day-to-day family life does not change in the same way as religious contact does. For family members who do not live in the same household , the situation can be different. The rule that there should be no socializing with a disfellowshipped person can then have major consequences for contact. How that plays out within individual families varies. So it is too broad to say that every disfellowshipped Jehovah’s Witness automatically loses all contact with their family. At the same time, for some people disfellowshipping can indeed lead to a very great loss of social and family contact. Can you still go to the Kingdom Hall? Yes. Someone who has been removed from the congregation may continue attending Jehovah’s Witness meetings. According to the current explanation, they are welcome there. Other attendees may choose to greet them. A disfellowshipped person can also ask elders for spiritual help. According to Jehovah’s Witnesses, the purpose of this is to keep open the possibility of returning. Can you come back? Yes. Disfellowshipping does not have to be permanent, according to Jehovah’s Witnesses. When someone, in the elders’ view, has stopped their wrongdoing, shows repentance, and wants to live again according to Bible standards, they can become part of the congregation again. Within the faith, such a return is seen as restoring the relationship with Jehovah and with the congregation. Disfellowshipping is not the same as becoming inactive Someone who no longer preaches or no longer attends meetings is not automatically disfellowshipped because of that. An inactive Jehovah’s Witness can still officially be considered a Jehovah’s Witness. Someone who has doubts is also not automatically disfellowshipped. Disfellowshipping is a specific religious measure in which it is determined that someone is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses . Disfellowshipping is also not the same as disassociating yourself There is also a difference between being disfellowshipped and stating yourself that you no longer want to be a Jehovah’s Witness. In the first case, elders decide that someone no longer belongs to the congregation. In the second case, the person themselves makes it clear that they no longer want to be known as a Jehovah’s Witness. Similar religious rules may apply to how congregation members then deal with that person. The path to get there is different, however: one person is disfellowshipped, the other decides to leave the community on their own. Why can disfellowshipping be so drastic? For someone whose family, friends, and social life are largely within Jehovah’s Witnesses, disfellowshipping can change much more than just their formal religious status. People they used to spend time with every week may disappear. Contact with parents, brothers, sisters, or adult children may change. Meetings, preaching, social activities, familiar routines, and a clear view of the future can also suddenly take on a different place. Moreover, the same measure can be experienced very differently from different perspectives. An active JW may think: ‘I love this person, but I want to remain loyal to what I see as a Bible instruction.’ The disfellowshipped person may experience: ‘The people I love suddenly have much less contact with me.’ Both experiences can be genuine. That is why it is important to distinguish between the intention of a religious rule and the consequences experienced by an individual person or family . Do congregation members realize what this feels like for someone? That will differ from person to person. Some Jehovah’s Witnesses are very aware of how much pain and loneliness a disfellowshipped person can experience. They may genuinely miss someone while still believing they must remain loyal to Jehovah by following the religious instructions. Other congregation members may view the loss mainly through the religious framework: ‘This measure may help him return.’ As a result, the same loss of contact can have two very different meanings. For the active JW, keeping their distance may feel like loyalty to Jehovah . For the disfellowshipped person, that same distance may feel like rejection by the people who shaped their world . So it is possible to understand that someone is hurting and still believe that keeping their distance is right. What happens when someone is outside the “flock”? Jehovah’s Witnesses themselves often use the biblical image of a flock in which elders care for congregation members as shepherds. When someone has been strongly connected to such a community for years and then loses many of those contacts, it can have a deep psychological impact. Humans are social beings. Connection with other people helps shape our sense of safety, identity, and self-worth. When important relationships suddenly disappear, the human threat or alarm system can respond as if danger is looming. In popular language, this is sometimes called the “reptilian brain.” Scientifically, that is too simplistic a picture of how the brain works. More accurately, social rejection can activate systems involved in threat, stress, and seeking safety. As a result, someone may think rationally: ‘I stand by my decision.’ and at the same time feel physically or emotionally: ‘I need to get out of here. I need to fix this. I want to go back to my people.’ That is not necessarily contradictory. Ostracism: when exclusion cuts deep In psychology, excluding or socially ignoring someone is called ostracism . Research on ostracism shows that social exclusion can affect fundamental human needs, including belonging, self-worth, control, and the feeling of mattering . When almost an entire person’s social network was within one community, the long-term loss of contact can therefore be especially heavy. It can go together with grief, loneliness, fear, shame, guilt, anger, helplessness, or identity confusion . Not every disfellowshipped person experiences this, and disfellowshipping does not automatically lead to mental health problems. Personality, family contact, an existing network outside the congregation, life circumstances, and the way someone experiences their departure all make a big difference. But when someone has spent years thinking: ‘These are my brothers and sisters. These are my people. This is where I belong.’ the loss of that connection can go far beyond simply missing a few acquaintances. Also read in the A-Z Encyclopedia of Psychology: O - Ostracism - What does prolonged social exclusion do to a person? Fear, guilt, and shame can persist Someone can change their beliefs without all emotional reactions changing immediately along with them. If for years they learned to connect certain choices with Jehovah’s approval, sin, Armageddon, the congregation, or their identity as a good person, they may still experience strong reactions after leaving. For example, they may think rationally: ‘I no longer believe this is wrong.’ but still feel guilty. Or: ‘I no longer think Jehovah will destroy me for this.’ and still feel afraid. Or: ‘I know I am not worth any less as a person.’ but still feel deeply ashamed. That does not automatically mean the former belief was therefore true. It also does not mean those feelings are made up. The feeling is real; its meaning can be re-examined. Guilt and shame are not the same Guilt usually focuses on behavior: ‘I did something wrong.’ Shame can go much further: ‘Something is wrong with me.’ That difference can be important after disfellowshipping. When someone not only thinks they broke a religious rule, but starts to see themselves as bad, unworthy, or as the one who hurt their family, recovery can become much harder. A person can take responsibility for choices without having to conclude that they are worth less as a person. ‘You chose this yourself’ A response a disfellowshipped or former JW may hear is: ‘You got baptized. You knew what came with it. You chose it yourself, and now you have to accept the consequences.’ There is a understandable logic behind that. Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, baptism is indeed presented as a personal and serious choice. Still, that statement does not answer every question. Someone may have been fully sincere and convinced at the time of baptism and later come to a different conclusion years down the road. Some are baptized at a young age as well. A young person can make a very serious choice about baptism without necessarily being able to foresee how it will feel decades later when their beliefs change. Even an adult who consciously chose the faith may later encounter different information, have different experiences, or revise their convictions. A voluntary choice in the past does not mean a person can never change their beliefs again. Personal responsibility is not the same as ‘it’s your own fault’ There is a difference between saying: ‘You are responsible for your choices.’ and: ‘Therefore you deserve the pain you are experiencing now.’ Personal responsibility and psychological suffering can exist at the same time. Someone may have made a decision themselves and still be deeply affected by the loss of important relationships. When someone’s grief is dismissed entirely with: ‘Your own fault, you knew the rules’ that can verge on victim blaming : the person’s suffering is then attributed almost entirely to them, while little attention remains for the social circumstances and the real consequences of shunning. That does not mean every disfellowshipped person should automatically be seen as a victim or that they bear no responsibility for their own behavior. It does mean two questions should be kept separate: What responsibility does someone have for their choices? and: What do the consequences of that situation do to them psychologically? ‘But can’t you just make new friends?’ In theory, yes. In practice, it can be harder than it sounds. Anyone who has lived for twenty or thirty years within one close-knit community has often never had to consciously build a social network. Family, friends, meetings, preaching, and social activities all blended together. When much of that disappears at once, someone may have to learn all over again: Who do I share my life with? Who do I call when I’m sad? Who do I celebrate with? Where do I meet people? Which group do I belong to now? That is not the same as simply collecting a few new phone numbers. Building a completely new social network A new network usually grows step by step. That can happen through work, studies, sports, hobbies, volunteering, neighborhood activities, old contacts, fellow sufferers, or new friendships . At first, such contacts may feel more superficial than the relationships someone had within the congregation. That is natural. A friendship of three months does not yet have the same history as a friendship of twenty years. A new social network also does not have to consist of one new close-knit group. Someone may have a colleague they like talking to, someone at the gym they meet up with, a neighbor they have coffee with, a family member with whom contact is growing, and one or two people they dare to confide in more and more. That is how connection can be rebuilt. It does not have to happen quickly For someone who has only just found themselves outside the congregation: ‘Just go make new friends’ can feel almost like an extra task. Friendships usually develop through repeated contact, safety, trust, shared experiences, and time . That is why recovery can start small. Try one activity. Reach out to an old acquaintance again. Talk more often with a colleague. Become a volunteer somewhere. Take up a sport or hobby. Talk with someone who understands what religious loss means. That may seem like little, but precisely those small contacts can eventually form a new social foundation. Read more on ExJW.World: Recovery - Social rebuilding after the congregation - How do you build new contacts, friendships, and connection step by step? ‘I don’t belong anywhere anymore’ Disfellowshipping can affect not only social contact but also one’s identity . For years, someone may have been able to say: ‘I am one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.’ That one sentence may have said something about their faith, friends, family, values, weekly routine, choices, and future all at once. When that falls away, a difficult question can arise: ‘If I’m no longer this, who am I?’ That can feel liberating, but also confusing. For some people, it takes time to discover which choices are truly their own, which values they want to keep, what they want to re-examine, and what they want to experience for the first time. That confusion does not necessarily mean someone is ‘failing to get their life together.’ It can be part of rebuilding an identity after one system has for a long time organized many parts of life at once. You can miss the community without wanting the faith back This distinction is especially important. A former or disfellowshipped JW may think: ‘I don’t want to go back to what I believed.’ and at the same time: ‘I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss that feeling of belonging somewhere.’ That is not contradictory. You can miss people without sharing their beliefs again. You can long for connection without being convinced by the doctrine again. You can even feel homesick for a community that you simultaneously know you do not want to live in the way you used to. Read more on ExJW.World : Recovery - I miss my community - Why can you miss people and connection while not wanting to return to the faith? Why does someone sometimes want to go back? Wanting to return to the congregation does not always have one reason. After new research, someone may truly have become convinced again that Jehovah’s Witnesses have the truth. But someone may also long for parents, children, brothers, sisters, friends, structure, familiarity, identity, or a sense of belonging . Fear can also play a role. After years outside the congregation, someone may suddenly doubt again: ‘What if it is true after all?’ Some people experience several reasons at the same time. That is why the sentence: ‘He wants to go back to the congregation’ still does not say why. A more useful question is: ‘What exactly does he long for?’ Returning to regain contact When returning also means social or family contact can be restored, a complicated situation arises. Someone may sincerely think: ‘I miss my family so much that I want to return.’ That does not automatically mean they are pretending or that their return is insincere. Human motives are rarely completely pure or singular. Faith, love, grief, fear, the need for community, and longing for family can all be present at once. That is why it is important to distinguish between: wanting to return to a faith and: wanting to return to the people and the life that were tied to that faith . Sometimes those two overlap. Sometimes they do not. Why familiarity can be so powerful A familiar world can provide security, even when someone has also had difficult experiences there. Within Jehovah’s Witnesses, someone may have known exactly: how a meeting went, what words were used, who their friends were, what was expected of them, and what their future looked like. Outside that structure, many choices can suddenly feel open-ended. For one person, that feels like freedom. For another, it first feels like: ‘But how am I supposed to live then?’ Freedom can feel good and at the same time create uncertainty when someone has lived for a long time within a strongly defined frame of reference. That too can explain why someone sometimes longs for the old familiar world. What if someone struggles to rebuild their life? That does not have to mean they cannot function without the organization. When someone loses certainty of faith, social contact, routine, identity, and outlook for the future in a short time, adjusting can take time. Some people build a new life relatively quickly. Others struggle longer with loneliness, relationships, boundaries, trust, choices, or the question of who they actually are. Professional help can be useful, especially when there is severe anxiety, depressive symptoms, trauma, prolonged loneliness, or thoughts of self-harm. Peer support can offer recognition. Professional help can help with psychological symptoms and patterns. New social activities can build connection. These different forms of support do not have to exclude one another. Keeping old and new information separate When looking online for information about disfellowshipping among Jehovah’s Witnesses, it’s easy to come across different descriptions. That is partly because the organization introduced changes in 2024 . Older publications may therefore use different terminology and, in some respects, give different instructions from current publications. For ExJW.World, it is therefore important to always state which year a given instruction comes from . A former JW may accurately explain how the rules were applied during his own time as a Jehovah’s Witness, while an active JW may rightly say that the current instructions are now different in some respects. Those two accounts do not necessarily contradict each other. Things to reflect on Why was someone removed, and what rules applied at that time? What do the current official rules say about contact with that person? How are those rules applied in practice in his family and congregation? How does the active JW experience limiting contact? How does the removed person experience that same loss of contact? How large was his social network outside the congregation before the removal? Which people, habits, and forms of security did he lose at the same time? Does he feel guilty because he truly regrets something, or also because he was taught for years to feel guilty about certain things? Does he feel ashamed of what he did, or of who he thinks he is? Can I distinguish responsibility for choices from the idea that “it’s your own fault, so your grief matters less”? If someone wants to come back, do I know whether they mainly long for the faith, for their family, for belonging, or for several things at once? Can someone miss their community without believing the teaching again? How much time do we give someone to build a new network and a new identity? Can I distinguish between the intent of a religious measure and its psychological effects on an individual person? In closing Removal is the current term Jehovah’s Witnesses use for what used to be commonly called disfellowshipping . It means that someone is no longer considered one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. According to the organization, someone is not removed simply because they made a mistake, but when there is serious violation of Bible standards and, according to the elders, no repentance or change follows. After removal, the current rules say that JWs do not have social interaction with the person. At the same time, he may attend meetings, can in many cases be greeted, and return is still possible. But the formal rule does not tell the whole story. When someone’s family, friends, identity, weekly routine, and view of the future were closely tied to the congregation for years, removal can mean much more than the end of a religious membership. The active Jehovah’s Witness may keep his distance out of sincere conviction and loyalty to Jehovah. The removed person may experience that same distance as the loss of his familiar world. A person can be responsible for choices and still feel intense grief. He may have changed his beliefs and still miss his community. He may want to return because he believes again — but also because he longs for people, security, or belonging. And someone who struggles to build a new life after years within one system does not necessarily prove by that alone that he made the wrong choice. Sometimes it simply means that a new life, a new network, and a new sense of identity need time to grow . That is why, in cases of removal, three questions ultimately matter, not two: What does the organization officially prescribe? How do active Jehovah’s Witnesses experience their responsibility in this? and: What happens to the person who ends up outside the familiar community — and what do they need in order to build safety, belonging, and a life of their own again? Sources JW.org - How do Jehovah’s Witnesses treat former fellow believers? The Watchtower - August 2024 - Help for Those Who Have Been Removed from the Congregation The Watchtower - August 2024 - Imitating Jehovah’s View of Sinners in the Congregation JW.org - Happy Forever!, lesson 57 - What if you commit a serious sin? JW.org - Bible Texts for Our Christian Life - Removal from the Congregation New World Translation - 1 Corinthians 5:9-13; 2 Corinthians 2:6-8; 2 John 9-11 Roy F. Baumeister & Mark R. Leary - The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation Kipling D. Williams - Ostracism: A Temporal Need-Threat Model Ransom, Monk & Heim - Grieving the Living: The Social Death of Former Jehovah’s Witnesses See also in the A-Z Glossary of Jehovah’s Witnesses A - Apostate - What does ‘apostate’ mean among Jehovah’s Witnesses? A - Apostasy - What is meant by apostasy among Jehovah’s Witnesses? B - Repentance - What does repentance mean among Jehovah’s Witnesses? C - Body of elders - Who reviews serious congregation matters and repentance? E - Elder - What role, responsibility, and influence does an elder have? R - Reinstatement - How can someone return to the congregation after being removed? D - Disfellowshipping - The former term for removal from the congregation. See also in the A-Z Encyclopedia of Psychology O - Ostracism - What does prolonged social exclusion do to belonging, self-esteem, and mental well-being? Also read on ExJW.World Reinstatement - Social rebuilding after the congregation - How do you gradually build a new social network when a large part of your old network has fallen away? Reinstatement - I miss my community - Why can you miss people and a sense of belonging even if you do not want to return to the faith?