S - Social influence

Recognizable questions What is social influence? Why do people adjust their behavior to the group? Is influence the same as manipulation? Why can a compliment have so much impact? Why do you sometimes do something because “everyone does it that way”? Can you make your own choices and still be strongly influenced by others? What happens when deviant behavior can lead to disapproval? Why does a choice feel different when your family, friends, or community place a lot of value on it? Can you recognize social influence while you are in the middle of it? And how do you later discover which choices really fit you? What is social influence? Social influence is the way other people affect what we think, feel, and do. That can happen very directly: “You have to do this.” But often the influence is much more subtle. We look at what others consider normal. We notice which behavior gets approval. We pay attention to reactions, facial expressions, compliments, silence, criticism, and expectations. No one has to order us to do anything. Just the realization: “The people who matter to me think this is good” can already affect a choice. Social influence is normal Social influence is not automatically bad. People are social beings. We learn from parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, and the groups we belong to. A child learns from others how to greet someone, what is polite, how to cooperate, and which rules matter. An adult also looks to others when he is not quite sure what is normal or wise. Without social influence, living together would hardly be possible. The relevant question is therefore usually not: “Am I being influenced?” Because we all are. More interesting is: “How am I being influenced, how much room do I feel I have to choose differently, and what happens if I do?” Influence is not the same as coercion In coercion , someone is forced or seriously threatened into showing certain behavior. Social influence can be much more subtle. Someone may technically be fully able to say no and at the same time feel: “If I say no, I’ll disappoint everyone.” or: “Then people will see me differently.” The choice still exists. But the social cost of one of the options may feel heavier. That is why these two statements can be true at the same time: “I made the choice myself.” and: “My environment strongly influenced what felt like the right choice to me.” Normative social influence An important form is normative social influence . This is when people conform because they want to be accepted or avoid rejection. You do not have to agree with the group in terms of content. You still go along because belonging matters. A simple example: everyone in a group of friends dresses a certain way. No one forces the newcomer to wear the same thing. Yet he may slowly adjust his clothing because he does not want to stand out all the time. The social message is not: “This is required.” but rather: “This is how we do things here.” Informational social influence Another form is informational social influence . In this case we look to other people because we think they probably know better. If you are in an unfamiliar situation and everyone suddenly runs toward one exit, it makes sense to think: “They must know what is going on.” Within a group, the same thing can happen with more complex issues. Someone thinks: “These people have much more experience with this.” “Everyone I trust sees it this way.” “Why would I be the only one who understands it wrong?” Then someone adopts information or conclusions from others because he sees their judgment as reliable. Sometimes both work at the same time Normative and informational influence can overlap. You may think: “My parents really believe this, so it’s probably true.” and at the same time: “I also don’t want to disappoint them.” Then the choice is about both truth and connection . Precisely when important people share the same belief, it can be hard to separate those two. Conformity When someone adjusts their behavior or opinions to fit in with a group, this is often called conformity . The classic experiments by psychologist Solomon Asch showed that people sometimes go along with an obviously wrong answer when several other group members give the same answer. Not everyone did. But the research did show that a unanimous group can have a remarkable amount of influence. What’s important here is that people are not necessarily stupid or gullible. The social situation itself can raise doubts: ‘Am I overlooking something?’ ‘Why is everyone saying something different from me?’ ‘Am I the one who’s wrong?’ A group doesn’t have to say anything Social norms often work without explicit words. You look around. Who gets compliments? Who is held up as an example? Who is given responsibility? Who is seen as spiritual, professional, successful, attractive, or loyal? And who gets criticism, silence, or distance? From that, people quickly learn which behavior is expected within a group. That’s how a norm can emerge without anyone ever literally saying: ‘You have to do this.’ Positive reinforcement Compliments can be a powerful social influence. A child does something and gets a warm response: ‘How wonderful!’ ‘We’re so proud of you.’ ‘It’s great that you want to do this.’ There is nothing wrong with that in itself. Positive reinforcement helps people learn and motivates them. But repeated affirmation also makes visible which direction the environment values. As a result, a child or adult may begin to think: ‘Apparently this is who I’m supposed to be.’ Disapproval doesn’t have to be harsh Disapproval doesn’t have to be stated openly either. A silence. A concerned look. A conversation that suddenly becomes awkward. Less enthusiasm. A question like: ‘Are you sure that’s wise?’ can be enough to make you feel that a choice falls outside the norm. It is precisely subtle signals that can be powerful, because the person giving them can think: ‘But I haven’t forbidden anything at all?’ while the person receiving them clearly experiences: ‘This is not the choice they hope I’ll make.’ The need to belong Why does social influence work so strongly? An important reason is that people have a fundamental need for belonging . Being part of a group means safety, support, recognition, and identity. For a child, that is especially strong. They depend on parents and other adults for love, care, and safety. But adults also need relationships and groups. That’s why: ‘Everyone will still love me, whatever choice I make’ can feel psychologically very different from: ‘I’m allowed to choose differently, but I don’t know what that will do to my relationships.’ Social influence within families Families are one of the first places where social influence takes place. Children learn: what is normal, what is good, which people are safe, which beliefs matter, and which behavior receives appreciation. That happens in religious and non-religious families alike. A family in which everyone is fanatically into football influences a child. A politically active family influences a child. A religious family does too. That is why it is not useful to treat social influence as suspicious only when it involves religion. The interesting question is: ‘How much room does someone later get to re-examine the family’s norms?’ Social influence within Jehovah’s Witnesses Within Jehovah’s Witnesses, social influence can work from several angles at once. A child or adult may find themselves among: parents, brothers and sisters, friends, elders, meetings, publications, videos, conventions, and other congregation members . Many of those people share the same beliefs. That can create a strong sense of community and clarity. Someone doesn’t have to keep figuring out on their own what their environment thinks about a subject. The group provides many shared norms and language. At the same time, such an environment means that one religious direction can be reinforced by many important people at once. ‘How wonderful that you’re making spiritual progress’ Suppose a young person comments at the meeting, goes out in the ministry, becomes an unbaptized publisher, or shows interest in baptism. Parents may be proud. Elders may compliment them. Congregation members react enthusiastically. That doesn’t have to be manipulation. They may genuinely be happy because they believe the young person is making a good choice. But for the young person, information is being communicated: ‘This direction makes the people I love very happy.’ When they later begin to doubt, another question may come alongside it: ‘What happens when I go the other way?’ The direction of compliments Social influence sometimes becomes clearer when you look at which choices get applause . A young person who says: ‘I want to get baptized’ may get many positive reactions. A young person who says: ‘I first want to find out whether I even believe this is the truth’ may trigger a very different response. That does not automatically mean the second young person is being forced. But it does show that, socially, both choices do not necessarily carry the same weight. An environment can say: ‘You have to choose for yourself’ and at the same time make very clear which choice it hopes someone will make. Social influence and free will That is where social influence touches free will . A choice does not automatically become unfree just because others influence it. That would mean that virtually no human decision is free. Perhaps the better question is: ‘Can I recognize what influence is on me and still genuinely allow a different conclusion?’ Can someone: ask questions, have doubts, compare information, change their mind, and ultimately choose something their environment had not hoped for? The safer that can be, the greater the experienced freedom of choice will usually be. Also read: V - Free will - How free does a choice feel when different outcomes can have major social consequences? Social influence and group identity A group does not just provide rules. It can also answer the question: ‘Who am I?’ People may see themselves as: Christian, Jehovah’s Witness, activist, doctor, soccer fan, Dutch person, musician, or member of a particular family. When group membership becomes part of identity, criticism of the group can feel more personal. It is then no longer only about: ‘This person thinks differently about my faith.’ but possibly: ‘This person is criticizing something that is part of who I am.’ That can explain why group differences can become emotional. ‘Everyone thinks this’ A particularly powerful effect arises when someone thinks almost everyone in the group shares the same opinion. Maybe several people are privately doubting. But no one says so. Everyone looks around and sees only others agreeing. Then every doubter may conclude: ‘Apparently I’m the only one.’ Meanwhile, several others may be thinking exactly the same thing. This ties in with what social psychology calls pluralistic ignorance : people underestimate how many others share their private doubts or uncertainty because the group’s public behavior suggests something else. Why one dissenting voice can make a difference Research on conformity also shows something hopeful. When even one other person deviates from the majority, the pressure to go along with the group can drop sharply. Why? Because then someone no longer thinks: ‘Everyone except me sees it differently.’ Suddenly there is room for: ‘Apparently I’m not the only one who has doubts.’ That helps explain why meeting someone with a different experience or opinion can sometimes change so much. Not because that other person is automatically right. But because the social situation changes. Social influence is everywhere outside religion too It is important not to treat this as a purely religious mechanism. Social media influence what is seen as attractive. Friend groups influence alcohol use, fashion, and language. Workplace cultures influence how much overtime seems normal. Political groups influence which information people trust. Families influence partner choice, education, and career. Even people who see themselves as very independent are influenced by social norms. The challenge, then, is not: ‘How do I avoid ever being influenced again?’ but: ‘How do I recognize influence so I can deal with it more consciously?’ When influence becomes group pressure Social influence can turn into social pressure . That happens more readily when a particular choice becomes tied to clear social costs. For example: loss of appreciation shame loss of status gossip rejection loss of relationships or: exclusion . The boundary is not always sharp. What one person experiences as: ‘They just gave their opinion’ another may experience as: ‘I knew exactly what would happen if I chose differently.’ That is why not only the intention of the person exerting influence is relevant. The position and dependency of the person receiving the influence also play a role. A child and an adult are not the same An adult can usually leave a group and seek other relationships, though that can still be difficult. A child is more dependent. Parents provide housing, food, love, protection, affirmation, and identity. That is why parental approval carries a different weight for a child than the opinion of a casual acquaintance. That does not mean parents may not pass on their beliefs. It does mean that: ‘The child is free to choose’ does not automatically answer the question: ‘How free does that choice feel to the child?’ When the group determines your information Social influence also works through information. People often trust sources that their environment considers reliable. That is practical: no one can personally research every topic in full. But it can become problematic when one group largely determines: which sources are reliable, which sources are suspect, and which questions can be asked safely . Then informational influence and normative influence can overlap. You don’t just think: ‘This source is probably unreliable.’ but possibly also: ‘If I look at this source, that says something about my loyalty.’ Social influence and ‘the truth’ When a belief within a community is consistently called ‘the truth’ , that is socially relevant as well. Then someone is not only asking: ‘Is my faith true?’ but possibly: ‘Do I dare to examine whether the truth might not be true?’ Language can therefore shape the context in which a choice is made. That does not mean something becomes false because a group calls it the truth. It only means that the words a group uses can influence how possibilities are experienced emotionally. The influence of reputation In close-knit communities, reputation can matter extra. People know who is active, who has a lot of responsibility, who is seen as spiritual, and who raises concerns. As a result, someone may ask themselves: ‘What does this choice say about me?’ Not only: ‘Do I think this is wrong?’ but: ‘Will others think less of me spiritually because of this?’ When reputation affects roles, friendships, or trust, the social meaning of a small choice can become large. Social influence and self-censorship When someone expects that openly deviating may have negative consequences, they may start censoring themselves. They do not say what they really think. They do not post a photo. They do not tell everything about their relationship. They go along while actually doubting. No one needs to explicitly silence them. The group’s expected reaction can be enough. Also read in A-Z Encyclopedia of Psychology: Z - Self-censorship - What happens when you don’t show parts of yourself because being visible can cost you? Social influence and ostracism One of the most powerful possible social consequences is exclusion. In psychology this is called ostracism . People have a strong need for belonging. When deviant behavior or a different belief may lead to the loss of important relationships, even the expectation of that can influence choices. That is why exclusion does not actually have to have happened yet to weigh on someone. Someone may think: ‘What will happen to my family if I say this?’ That expectation alone can be enough to keep quiet or go along. Also read in A-Z Encyclopedia of Psychology: O - Ostracism - What does long-term social exclusion do to a person? ‘I really chose it myself’ That can be completely true. Social influence does not mean a choice is fake. A young person can truly want to get baptized. An adult can sincerely choose a certain lifestyle. A person can genuinely believe what everyone around them also believes. That is why this statement is important: Sincere choice and social influence do not exclude each other. You can truly want something and still be shaped by the people, language, rewards, and expectations around you. The interesting follow-up question is: ‘How did what I wanted myself come to be?’ Internalization: when the group is no longer needed Social influence can eventually be internalized . Then you no longer have to think: ‘What will others think of it?’ The norm now feels like your own inner norm. This happens with all kinds of values. A child learns to be honest because parents say so. Later they themselves think lying is wrong. That is normal development. But it can become complicated when someone later changes their belief while the emotional response remains. Then someone may think: ‘I no longer believe this rule, but why do I still feel guilty?’ The social norm has then become part of one’s own conscience. When you leave the group Social influence does not always stop the moment someone physically leaves a group. A former group member may still think for years: ‘What would they think of this?’ Maybe he sees someone from his former community and automatically adjusts his behavior. Maybe he feels guilty about something he no longer rationally believes is wrong. Maybe he still hears the old words in his mind. That does not mean someone can never become free. It shows that social norms can sometimes stay with us longer than membership in the group itself . The other trap: automatically doing the opposite Becoming free from group influence does not automatically mean doing the opposite of everything. When you used to do A because the group wanted A and now always do B because the group wanted A, the group is still determining your choice. Only in reverse. More autonomy can mean: ‘I will look at A and B again and then choose what truly fits my values.’ Maybe you keep A. Maybe you choose B. Maybe something completely different. Freedom is not determined by how different your choice is from the group’s. How do you recognize social influence? You can ask yourself, for example: Would I make the same choice if no one ever knew what I chose? Would I think the same if everyone around me held the opposite view? What reactions do I expect when I choose differently? Whose approval do I especially want? Which people do I automatically see as a trustworthy source? What information do I avoid looking at because I’m afraid of what I might discover? None of these questions proves that your current choice is wrong. They simply make the influences more visible. Having multiple groups can actually increase freedom One way social influence can become less all-determining is by having contact with different people and perspectives. When all your family, friends, colleagues, and social activities are within one group, that group carries a lot of social meaning. When someone has multiple networks, there is often more room. Not because those other groups have no influence. But because no single group automatically becomes the whole social universe . You can hear different ideas and compare them for yourself. Critical thinking does not mean distrusting everyone Being intentional about social influence does not mean: ‘No one can be trusted.’ Experts, parents, friends, and groups can also provide valuable information. Critical thinking is more like: ‘I listen to others, but I also try to understand why I believe them.’ What arguments do they give? Can other sources be checked? Is criticism allowed? Could they be wrong? And do I apply the same critical standard to information I agree with as to information I do not want to believe? When social influence becomes support Social influence can also be very positive. A friend encourages you to seek professional help. A sports group motivates you to exercise. A family supports someone who is quitting smoking. A community helps someone after a loss. Good social influence can strengthen people. That is why the goal is not to eliminate social influence. It is about creating an environment where connection goes together with enough room for: questions, differences, change, and your own judgment . When does social influence become problematic? That cannot be determined with one rule. Still, questions can help: Can I disagree without losing my place? Can I make mistakes without my identity being rejected? Can I examine information that contradicts the group? Can I make important decisions without love depending on my answer? Can I change my mind without people automatically seeing me as bad or dangerous? The less room there is for that, the more social influence can be experienced as pressure. Things to reflect on yourself Which groups have shaped my thinking the most? Which beliefs did I inherit from home? For which choices did I receive a lot of appreciation in the past? Which choices caused disappointment or concern? When was the last time I did something because “everyone did it that way”? Do I dare to voice a different opinion out loud? What do I think will happen when I disagree with people who are important to me? What role does my need to belong play? Which people do I automatically consider trustworthy, and why? What information do I avoid? Would I make the same choice if no one ever knew what I had chosen? Would I hold the same belief if I had grown up in a completely different family or country? Does being influenced mean my belief isn’t genuine, or can it be both sincere and shaped by others at the same time? Can I respect someone and still conclude that they are wrong? Do I have different people around me with whom I’m allowed to think differently? Which beliefs do I want to consciously keep after reexamining them? In conclusion Social influence is everywhere. We learn from one another, seek approval, trust people we consider important, and use the group as a source of information. That does not make us weak. It makes us human. The question, then, is not whether we are influenced by others. The more important question is what happens when our own conclusion differs from the group . Can we still ask questions then? Can we doubt? Can we examine information? Can we say no? Can others be disappointed without our bond disappearing? And can we ultimately arrive at the same belief again without that outcome having felt socially necessary in advance? Social influence never disappears completely. Autonomy therefore probably does not mean: ‘No one influences me.’ It rather means: ‘I learn to recognize who and what influences me, so that I can more consciously decide which influence I want to follow.’ ‘Do I choose this because I truly believe and want it — or is there also a role for what I expect to gain, keep, or lose if I choose differently?’ Sources Solomon E. Asch - Opinions and Social Pressure; research into conformity Morton Deutsch & Harold B. Gerard - A Study of Normative and Informational Social Influences Upon Individual Judgment Herbert C. Kelman - Compliance, Identification, and Internalization: Three Processes of Attitude Change Robert B. Cialdini & Noah J. Goldstein - Social Influence: Compliance and Conformity Henri Tajfel & John Turner - Social Identity Theory Roy F. Baumeister & Mark R. Leary - The Need to Belong Kipling D. Williams - research into ostracism and social exclusion American Psychological Association - information about social psychology, conformity, group influence and decision-making See also in the A-Z Encyclopedia of Psychology C - Conformity - Why do people adapt their behavior or opinion to a group? G - Group identity - What happens when a group becomes part of who you are? I - Internalization - How do external norms become part of your own inner voice? L - Loyalty conflict - What happens when loyalty to yourself clashes with connection to others? O - Ostracism - What does prolonged social exclusion do to a person? S - Socialization - How do norms, values and beliefs become part of what feels self-evident? Z - Self-censorship - What happens when you don’t show parts of yourself because being visible can come at a cost? Read also on ExJW.World D - The truth - What does it do to your thinking when one belief from childhood is called “the truth”? G - Religious upbringing - How is a child’s faith shaped from an early age? G - Conscience - How does the inner voice arise by which you assess your own behavior? I - Inactive versus removed - How can religious status influence freedom, openness and family contact? V - Free will - How free does a choice feel when different outcomes have major social consequences? W - Worldly - What does the contrast between “the truth” and “the world” do to thinking and conscience?