Recognizable questions

- Why do I want a definitive answer so badly, even when that answer isn’t available yet?

- Why can uncertainty create so much tension?

- Why do I keep checking, searching, or asking for reassurance without actually feeling any calmer?

- Why does “I don’t know” sometimes feel almost unbearable?

- Why do I want to make important decisions only when I have complete certainty?

- Can I be convinced of something and still tolerate uncertainty?

- How do I learn to live with questions that will remain open for now?

What is uncertainty?

Uncertainty means that we do not fully know what is happening, what something means, or how something will turn out.
That is a normal part of life.

WE DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING

about health

relationships

other people

the future

our choices

big life questions

In psychology, people also speak of intolerance of uncertainty: the tendency to find it difficult when important information is missing or an outcome is unpredictable.
It is not a separate psychiatric diagnosis.

Not uncertainty itself, but not knowing can become difficult

Two people can deal very differently with exactly the same lack of clarity.
One thinks:
“I’ll hear more when there’s more to know.”
The other:
“I need to know right now what this means.”

THE SAME UNCERTAINTY

        ↓

person A:
‘I’ll wait and see’

person B:
‘I need to solve this
right now’

So the difference lies not only in how much uncertainty there actually is, but also in how difficult someone finds it that there is still no answer.

Why do people want certainty?

Predictability gives us something to hold on to.
When we know what is likely to happen, we can plan and prepare ourselves.
That is useful.
But with important topics, the need for certainty can become stronger:

  • health;

  • relationships;

  • money;

  • safety;

  • work;

  • faith;

  • family;

  • the future.

THE MORE IMPORTANT
THE TOPIC

        ↓

the stronger sometimes
the need:

‘I want to know for sure
how this will turn out’

That is human.

An example from everyday life

You’ve had a medical test and are waiting for the results.
The doctor can’t say anything for three days.
Still, every hour you search online:
What does this symptom mean?
Could it be this?
How likely is that?
Has anyone else had this?
For a moment, searching seems to bring relief.
But then new information appears and a new question arises.

UNCERTAINTY
     ↓
searching
     ↓
temporary reassurance
     ↓
new doubt
     ↓
searching again

In that case, searching does not really create more certainty. It mainly becomes a way to temporarily reduce the discomfort of not knowing.

Reassurance can help briefly and then become needed even more

The same can happen with questions to other people:
“Do you really think it’ll be okay?”
“Are you sure he isn’t angry?”
“Do you think this is normal?”
A reassuring answer can bring immediate relief.
But when the doubt returns, the need for confirmation may come back too.

doubt
  ↓
asking for reassurance
  ↓
relief
  ↓
doubt returns
  ↓
asking again

That does not mean reassurance is wrong. Everyone sometimes needs support or information.
It becomes especially burdensome when calm seems possible only after receiving new confirmation.

Control is not the same as certainty

People sometimes try to reduce uncertainty by checking more.
For example:

  • reading a message over and over;

  • checking several times whether a door is locked;

  • comparing endlessly before making a choice;

  • constantly following the news;

  • searching for the same medical information again and again.

MORE CHECKING

can sometimes
give more information

but

can never fully
eliminate uncertainty

That is where uncertainty and the need for control meet.

Uncertainty is not the same as danger

When something is unknown, our mind can easily think:
“If I don’t know what’s happening, something could go wrong.”
But:

UNKNOWN

        ≠

DANGEROUS

An unknown outcome can be good, bad, or neutral.
Not knowing is not, by itself, a prediction.

Possible is not the same as likely

Uncertainty leaves room for different outcomes.
In doing so, one negative possibility can easily get all the attention.
For example:
‘It could be cancer.’
That may be factually true.
But that does not mean:
‘So it is probably cancer.’

POSSIBLE

        ≠

PROBABLE

        ≠

CERTAIN

This distinction matters in health, relationships, faith, and other subjects where emotions can run high.

Uncertainty and catastrophizing

The concepts can go together, but they are not the same.
With intolerance of uncertainty, the open question itself can be hard to handle:
‘I don’t know how this will turn out.’
With catastrophizing, thinking jumps more quickly to a very negative outcome:
‘It’s probably going to turn out badly, and I won’t be able to handle it.’

UNCERTAINTY

‘I don’t know
what will happen’


CATASTROPHIZING

‘The worst is
probably going to happen’

Uncertainty and perfectionism

Perfectionism can also make uncertainty difficult.
A decision may only feel safe when someone thinks:
‘I must be absolutely sure this is the best choice.’
But many decisions do not have a perfect outcome.

‘WHAT IS
THE PERFECT CHOICE?’

        ↓

keep researching

        ↓

not daring to make a choice

Sometimes there is only:
a reasonable choice based on the information currently available.

Uncertainty and procrastination

When someone wants complete clarity first, getting started can keep being postponed.
‘I’ll begin when I know exactly how.’
‘I’ll decide when I know for sure I won’t regret it.’
‘I’ll say something when I know for sure how the other person will react.’
But complete certainty often never comes.

WANTING CERTAINTY FIRST
        ↓
keep waiting
        ↓
gain no experience
        ↓
uncertainty remains

Sometimes clarity only emerges after you have taken a small step.

Why ‘I don’t know’ can be so hard

An open question has no closure.
The mind can keep coming back again and again:
‘But what if…?’
‘Maybe I missed something.’
‘I need to look one more time.’
Research on uncertainty looks, among other things, at the tendency to experience unknown future events as burdensome or hard to tolerate.
This can occur with various psychological complaints, but also without a disorder.

People differ widely

Not everyone has the same need for predictability.
One person enjoys a spontaneous life.
Another prefers to plan ahead.
That difference does not have to be problematic at all.
It mainly becomes relevant when the need for certainty:

takes up a lot of time

blocks choices

keeps creating tension

demands more and more control

or starts to limit
daily life

Uncertainty within religion

Religions can offer clear answers to big questions:
Why do we exist?
What happens after death?
What is right and wrong?
Does life have a purpose?
For many people, that brings peace, meaning, and direction.
That is not automatically psychologically problematic.

RELIGIOUS CERTAINTY

can provide support

without psychology
being able to determine
whether the belief
is true or false

Psychology mainly examines how people deal with certainty, doubt, and the unknown, not whether metaphysical beliefs are correct.

How might this be recognizable for Jehovah’s Witnesses?

Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, there are clear beliefs about, among other things, God, death, the future, moral standards, and the meaning of Bible prophecies.
For someone who shares these beliefs, that can provide a clear worldview.
When someone begins to doubt, old certainties can suddenly become open questions:

‘What happens
after death?’

‘What if I’m wrong?’

‘What do I
actually believe myself?’

‘What does my
future look like?’

‘What if I don’t find
a definitive answer?’

That transition can cause unrest.
Not necessarily because doubt is better or worse than faith, but because a familiar framework of answers becomes less self-evident.

From many answers to many open questions

In a major change of faith, someone may lose not just one belief.
All kinds of connected answers may also need to be examined again.

earlier:

‘this is how it is’

        ↓

later:

‘what do I
actually think about this?’

That can be liberating.
But also exhausting.
Especially when someone was used to fundamental questions having clear answers.

The urge to find a new worldview right away

When old certainty falls away, it can be tempting to quickly find a new all-encompassing explanation.
For example:
‘Now I finally know how everything really works.’
That new answer may be religious, spiritual, scientific, political, or psychological.

OLD CERTAINTY
      ↓
falls away
      ↓
uncertainty
      ↓
strong need
for a new answer

That new answer may be right.
But the need for certainty in itself is not proof that it is true.

Doubt is not automatically better either

The other extreme is to think:
‘A critical person should always keep doubting.’
That is not true either.
Some things are well supported.
Some choices can be made consciously.
And sometimes strong conviction is entirely reasonable.

HEALTHY THINKING

is not:

being certain all the time

or

doubting all the time

but:

letting the amount of certainty
match
the available information

Tolerating uncertainty does not mean passively waiting

Learning to deal with uncertainty does not mean you should stop looking for information.
Sometimes you actually need to act.
For example:
serious physical symptoms → medical evaluation.
unsafe situation → seek protection.
important financial decision → gather information.
The distinction is:

USEFUL ACTION

‘What information
do I need to
act wisely?’


ENDLESS CHECKING

‘What information
can guarantee
that nothing will go wrong?’

That guarantee is often not available.

When is enough information enough?

A useful question is:
‘Do I need new information, or am I mainly trying to get rid of my tension?’
For example:

I HAVE ENOUGH
INFORMATION

but

I STILL FEEL
UNCERTAIN

In that case, more searching may not solve the information problem, because the main problem by then is the discomfort of uncertainty itself.

Plan when you will check again

If constant checking becomes a pattern, a fixed time can help.
For example:
‘I’ll check again tomorrow morning to see whether there’s an update.’
Instead of:
checking every fifteen minutes.

NOT

whenever
the tension rises


BUT

at a заранее
chosen moment

That way you practice allowing uncertainty to be present for a while without having to resolve it immediately.

Practice saying ‘I don’t know yet’

This sentence can be surprisingly difficult:
‘I don’t know yet.’
But there is something important in it:

‘I DON’T KNOW
YET’

does not mean:

‘I will never know’

or

‘Everything is uncertain’

It only means that at this moment there is not enough information for a definitive answer.

Distinguish between questions that need an answer now and questions that can be left open

Not every uncertainty requires an immediate decision.

DO I NEED TO DECIDE NOW?

YES
↓
what do I know well enough
to choose reasonably?


NO
↓
can this question
stay open for now?

That can create a lot of mental space.

Making a choice without absolute certainty

Many important choices are made with incomplete information:
accepting a job;
starting a relationship;
moving;
choosing a course of study;
discussing a medical treatment.
None of these choices comes with a guarantee.
A mature choice can therefore sometimes sound like:

‘I don’t know
exactly how this will turn out.

But based on
what I know now,
I choose this.’

That is not recklessness.
It is accepting that making a decision and having absolute certainty are not the same thing.

Learning to tolerate uncertainty

The goal is not to start finding uncertainty pleasant.
But you may discover:
‘I can’t know what will happen and still function.’

UNCERTAINTY
      ↓
tension
      ↓
not solved immediately
      ↓
tension can ease
      ↓
experience:

‘I can handle this’

As a result, the need to keep checking or seeking reassurance can gradually become less intense.

Sometimes uncertainty is genuinely heavy

Not all uncertainty is a thinking error.
Waiting for cancer test results, financial uncertainty, the threat of losing a job, or uncertainty about a loved one can objectively be very stressful.
Then the message should not be:
‘You just need to get better at dealing with uncertainty.’
Sometimes practical support is at least as important as psychological skills.

REAL UNCERTAINTY

may call for:

information
practical help
social support
and emotional support

What can you do with it?

When you notice that you want to force an answer immediately, you can ask yourself:

1. What do I know now?

2. What don’t I know yet?

3. Can I actually
get new information?

4. Or am I mainly trying
to reduce my anxiety?

5. Do I have to choose now?

6. Which choice can I make
without complete certainty?

Sometimes the best answer, for now, is:
‘I don’t know yet, and it’s okay if it stays that way today.’

Questions to reflect on

- Which uncertainty am I trying to resolve the fastest?

- What do I think will happen if I leave a question open for a day?

- Am I looking for new information or mainly for reassurance?

- Do I sometimes turn ‘possible’ into ‘probable’ or even ‘certain’?

- Which checking gives me genuinely useful information, and which checking am I mainly repeating to reduce anxiety?

- Which decision can I reasonably make without absolute certainty?

- Can I say ‘I don’t know yet’ without immediately treating it as a problem?

Summary

Uncertainty is part of life.
Intolerance of uncertainty describes how not knowing can itself create so much tension that someone, for example, keeps checking, seeks reassurance, keeps thinking things over, or wants a definite answer too quickly.

UNCERTAINTY
      ↓
tension
      ↓
checking
seeking
reassurance
      ↓
temporary relief
      ↓
new uncertainty

Certainty is not wrong, and doubt is not automatically better.
What matters is that the amount of certainty matches what is actually known.
Sometimes you need to seek information and act. Sometimes there simply is no definite answer yet.
Then the most important skill may become:
not having to solve everything today.
Complete certainty is often not available.
But you can learn to say:
‘I know enough to take my next step, even though I still don’t know how everything will turn out.’

Sources and further reading

R. Nicholas Carleton – The Intolerance of Uncertainty Construct in the Context of Anxiety Disorders, 2012. About intolerance of uncertainty as an important psychological construct and its relationship to anxiety.
R. Nicholas Carleton – Into the Unknown: A Review and Synthesis of Contemporary Models Involving Uncertainty, 2016. An in-depth discussion of uncertainty and its role in various psychological models.
Michel J. Dugas, Mark H. Freeston & Robert Ladouceur – Intolerance of Uncertainty and Problem Orientation in Worry, 1997. Research into the relationship between uncertainty, worrying, and the way people approach problems.
Mark H. Freeston et al. – Why Do People Worry?, 1994. Classic research into beliefs and processes associated with excessive worrying and intolerance of uncertainty.
Joanne Birrell et al. – Toward a Definition of Intolerance of Uncertainty: A Review of Factor Analytical Studies of the Intolerance of Uncertainty Scale, 2011. About the conceptualization and measurement of intolerance of uncertainty.

Also read

Need for control – When control and predictability become increasingly important.
Quasi-certainty – When a feeling of certainty becomes greater than what can actually be established.
Ruminating (worrying) – When thoughts keep going around without new information emerging.
Catastrophizing – When uncertainty quickly turns into expecting the worst possible outcome.
Perfectionism – When a choice only feels safe if it seems completely right.
Procrastination – Why waiting for complete clarity can actually block action.
Autonomous thinking – Learning to make your own choices even when not every answer is known in advance.