Questions to reflect on
- What do Jehovah’s Witnesses mean by a “well-trained conscience”?
- How is a child’s conscience formed?
- What role do parents, elders, meetings, and children’s videos play in that?
- What happens when you don’t personally feel anything is wrong, but learn that Jehovah thinks differently?
- Why can you feel guilty about something that is perfectly normal for others?
- Does guilt automatically mean you are doing something wrong?
- How do you later know which standards are truly your own?
- And if you leave Jehovah’s Witnesses: how do you make sure old feelings of guilt don’t keep automatically shaping your decisions?
What is the conscience?
Jehovah’s Witnesses describe the conscience as an inner sense of right and wrong. Romans 2:14, 15 compares it to something within us that can either accuse us or acquit us.
Interestingly, Jehovah’s Witnesses themselves also teach that a conscience must be trained. A recent Watchtower explains that the conscience can be influenced by things such as upbringing and culture. That is why Witnesses are encouraged to shape their conscience with Bible principles.
That is an important starting point: a conscience is therefore not simply an unchanging inner voice that every person is born with and that always automatically tells us what is right and wrong.
A conscience is trained too
This fits with what we know from psychology about moral development and socialization.
A small child does not automatically know what clothing is appropriate, which words are polite, what its parents mean by sexuality, which holidays they may or may not celebrate, or which entertainment they consider suitable.
It learns.
That happens through explanation, but also through praise, correction, example, and the reactions of important adults.
Within a Jehovah’s Witness family, a special question comes into play:
“What does Jehovah think about this?”
“Make Jehovah happy”
That phrase comes up regularly in teaching children. Jehovah’s Witnesses have, for young children, the series Become Jehovah’s Friend, featuring the characters David and Sofia. It covers topics such as obedience to parents, honesty, cleaning up, meetings, preaching, friendships, and God’s standards for relationships.
Parents are also encouraged to teach their children how to make Jehovah happy.
For a believing family, that can mean something very positive. Parents do not want to teach their child rules alone, but to help them develop a personal relationship with Jehovah.
Psychologically, something important happens at the same time: behavior can become linked to God’s approval.
More than “Mom doesn’t approve of this”
There is an emotional difference between:
“Mom doesn’t want me to do this.”
and:
“Jehovah doesn’t approve of this.”
With mom, you can think she may simply be too strict. An elder can make a mistake. A congregation member can have a different opinion.
But when a child believes that Jehovah is perfect and always knows what is right and wrong, the second statement carries a different weight.
A rule can then become a much deeper part of the conscience.
Children’s videos teach more than facts
A story with relatable children, emotions, music, and everyday situations can make an abstract religious standard understandable. The child does not only see what the rule is, but also how a child like themselves deals with it.
That is exactly the power of stories for children.
The official material describes the animations as tools to teach children how to apply Bible principles. The topics range from cleaning up and being honest to religious standards about marriage.
In One Man, One Woman, God’s standard for marriage is explained to children as a bond between one man and one woman. In congregation material connected to that video, parents were encouraged to teach Jehovah’s moral standards from an early age.
In that way, a child learns not only information, but also:
“How should someone who wants to be Jehovah’s friend think and act about this?”
When school and faith meet
That becomes interesting when a child encounters something different outside the congregation.
Suppose a child has a classmate with two mothers. For the child, reality can be simple: this is my friend, and she has two mothers. Those mothers may be nice, and the child may go over to play at their house.
From the child’s own experience, there does not have to be any moral problem.
At the same time, within their faith they are taught that God’s standard for marriage and sexual relationships is different.
Then two experiences can exist side by side:
‘I like these people and I don’t see anything bad happening myself.’
and:
‘I’ve been taught that Jehovah does not view this relationship as right.’
That can be an important moment in the formation of conscience.
The child themself is not “bad”
Here, making a distinction is important. Jehovah’s Witness teaching is not simply:
‘A child with two mothers is bad.’
The religious objection concerns relationships and sexual behavior between people of the same sex. At the same time, Jehovah’s Witnesses are taught that people should be treated respectfully.
But for a young child, it is not psychologically obvious that all those nuances will remain fully separate. The child sees a real family in front of them, while also learning that God’s purpose for a family is different.
What if your own feeling says something else?
That question goes far beyond sexuality.
What happens when a child thinks for themselves:
‘Actually, I don’t see anything wrong here.’
but then learns:
‘Jehovah sees this differently.’
One possibility is that the child adjusts their first judgment:
‘Then I apparently don’t understand it properly yet. Jehovah knows better than I do.’
From a religious perspective, that can be seen as faith and trust in God.
From a developmental-psychological perspective, what is also interesting is what the child learns about their own moral perception.
Are they allowed to think:
‘Why would this be wrong?’
Are they allowed to explore that question further?
Or do they mainly learn:
‘If my feeling does not match what Jehovah, according to my faith, thinks, then my feeling must be corrected?’
A cartoon with dragons
That process does not have to happen only through official videos.
A sister told of an elder being at her family’s home while her child was watching a cartoon with dragons. The elder first asked the child something like:
‘What do you think of this cartoon?’
Then:
‘And what do you think Jehovah thinks if you watch this?’
For the mother, that question hit hard. Her immediate thought was:
‘I could have died of embarrassment. Apparently I’m not raising my child properly.’
The elder did not have to say that she was a bad mother. That was also not necessarily his intention.
Still, she immediately felt guilty.
One question can touch two consciences
In that example, two consciences at once are actually being addressed.
The child is invited to view their entertainment through the question of what Jehovah thinks of it.
The mother then judges herself:
‘If my child is watching this and Jehovah perhaps disapproves, have I as a mother failed?’
The elder may sincerely have thought he was helping the family spiritually. The mother may sincerely have experienced the same situation as correction.
Both perspectives can exist side by side.
But who decides what Jehovah thinks?
With some topics, there is a clear Bible rule. With others, a Bible principle is applied to a specific situation.
For example, nowhere in the Bible does it literally say:
‘A child may not watch a cartoon with a dragon.’
There may be Biblical principles about spiritism, magic, violence, or entertainment.
Between those lies a human interpretive step.
That is why it can be useful to distinguish between what is literally in the Bible, how the organization explains the principle, and how a parent, elder, or congregation member applies that principle to a concrete situation.
For a child, those three can easily merge into:
‘Jehovah does not approve of this.’
Parents are not the only ones shaping conscience
A JW child does not grow up in this moral world only at home. At meetings they hear how young people are supposed to behave, they watch children’s videos, they receive praise for spiritual progress, and they may be addressed about their conduct by elders or other congregation members.
As a result, the same standard can be reinforced from different directions.
That does not have to be negative. For a child, it can actually be comforting when home and congregation share the same values. It provides clarity, recognition, and a sense of belonging.
Psychologically, at the same time, it means that a standard can become more and more firmly established.
From the outside to the inside
Eventually, no one else is needed anymore.
A parent no longer has to say:
‘What does Jehovah think of this?’
An elder no longer has to ask it.
The child asks it of themselves.
That is called internalization: norms that originally came from your surroundings become part of your own thinking and self-regulation.
That is a normal human process. We all internalize values. That is why our parents do not have to keep telling us, as adults, that lying, stealing, or mistreating someone is wrong.
But we do not only internalize generally shared moral rules. Cultural and religious norms can also become deeply part of our conscience.
‘My conscience says it’s wrong’
That is why that sentence is more complicated than it seems.
When someone says:
‘My conscience does not allow this,’
the feeling is completely real.
But you can also ask:
‘How was my conscience formed in this area?’
Maybe the norm matches a value you still fully stand behind after adult examination. Maybe it comes mainly from your family, the congregation, a publication, or something an elder once told you.
Maybe you do not even remember where it came from anymore.
Guilt and shame are not the same
It is useful to distinguish between guilt and shame.
Guilt is roughly about:
‘I did something wrong.’
Shame reaches deeper faster:
‘There is something wrong with me.’
In religious upbringing, the two can sometimes blend together.
A child may first think:
‘I did something Jehovah does not like.’
But when spiritual behavior becomes strongly tied to one’s identity, a deeper thought can develop underneath it:
‘Am I really a good friend of Jehovah?’
or:
‘Am I actually a good child?’
That distinction matters, because shame can affect identity much more deeply than guilt over one specific action.
Is it wrong to teach a child to make Jehovah happy?
Not automatically.
Every parent passes on moral values. A Christian parent will involve God in that, just as a non-religious parent uses different moral starting points.
Religious upbringing can also give children meaning, structure, hope, and a strong moral framework.
The psychological question is therefore not simply:
‘Is the child being influenced?’
Of course the child is being influenced. That is true of every child.
The more interesting question is:
‘How is the child being influenced, and how much room remains to examine those norms later for themselves?’
When guilt does not mean you are guilty
Suppose someone as an adult does something they were taught for years to disapprove of.
Immediately, that familiar feeling arises:
‘This is not right.’
That feeling can be so strong that it feels like proof:
‘If I feel this bad about it, my conscience must be warning me, right?’
But there is another possibility:
your conscience is reacting exactly the way it was trained to react for years.
The feeling is real.
The meaning of that feeling is still a separate question.
You can also feel guilty about something normal
We see that outside religion too.
People can feel guilty when they rest because they were taught they always have to be productive. Someone can feel guilty when they set a boundary because, as a child, they learned they always had to please others.
The guilt feeling then does not automatically prove that resting or setting a boundary is wrong.
A useful question is therefore:
‘Did I really do something that goes against my values, or did I do something that goes against a learned rule?’
Sometimes those two are the same.
Sometimes they are not.
What happens when your faith changes?
For some former Jehovah’s Witnesses, this is very recognizable.
Your conviction may change relatively quickly. You examine things and conclude, for example:
‘I no longer believe that Jehovah requires this of me.’
But when you then do something that was previously not allowed, it can still feel wrong.
Your mind says:
‘There is nothing wrong here.’
Your body and emotions say:
‘Careful.’
That does not necessarily mean that deep down you ‘know the faith is true after all’.
It may mean that an old norm is still triggering an automatic emotional response.
How do you examine such a response?
Usually not by forcing yourself. It can help to break the reaction apart:
What am I feeling? – I feel guilt and tension.
What old message do I recognize? – I learned that Jehovah disapproves of this.
What was that rule based on? – A specific Bible text, an explanation, a local norm, or something people around me believed?
What do I personally think about it today? – Does this fit my current values?
Am I harming anyone?
What kind of person do I want to be?
That doesn’t mean you’re saying your old conscience was worthless.
You’re examining it.
You don’t have to throw away your old conscience
When someone leaves Jehovah’s Witnesses, he doesn’t have to automatically reject everything he learned there.
Maybe you still consider honesty, loyalty, care for others, moderation, responsibility, and forgiveness important.
Maybe many values really have become your own — not only because Jehovah’s Witnesses taught them, but because after examining them, you still stand behind them.
Other standards you can reconsider.
That’s different from switching off your conscience.
In fact, you are shaping it more consciously.
New experiences can reduce old guilt
When someone repeatedly makes a choice that once triggered guilt and notices:
‘I’m not hurting anyone.’ ‘This fits my values.’ ‘I haven’t become a worse person because of this.’
the automatic guilt response can gradually diminish.
That doesn’t have to happen quickly. A belief can change on Tuesday while an emotional reaction you’ve practiced for twenty or thirty years is not gone by Wednesday.
That is why it can help to distinguish between:
what you believe now
and:
what you still feel automatically.
What if you want to remain one of Jehovah’s Witnesses?
Then the same question is still valuable.
A well-formed conscience doesn’t have to mean you never examine why you think something is wrong.
If after examining it you conclude:
‘I understand the principle, I’ve looked at different sides, and I choose this myself because I believe this is Jehovah’s will,’
that is different from:
‘I don’t dare do it because I’d feel guilty otherwise.’
In both cases, someone may ultimately make the same decision.
But the path to that decision is different.
Free will and a formed conscience
Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that free will is a gift from God. At the same time, they teach that the conscience must be shaped by Bible principles.
A conscience must be shaped; no one grows up without influence.
So the interesting question is not:
‘Is my conscience influenced?’
but rather:
‘Can I understand what shaped it and examine for myself which values I still endorse?’
Maybe a personal choice is not a choice on which nobody has any influence — that hardly exists.
Maybe it is more about being able to say:
‘I know what influenced me. I’ve examined why I believe this. And even if I were allowed to choose differently without fear of disapproval, I would still choose this.’
Questions to think about
According to my upbringing, what things made Jehovah happy?
What things made him sad?
How young was I when I learned that?
What role did children’s videos, publications, and meetings play?
Which standards came from my parents and which did I hear from elders or other congregation members?
Can I distinguish between a Bible text and someone’s application of it?
What happens inside me when my own feelings clash with what I was taught Jehovah thinks?
Do I feel guilt over behavior, or do I feel ashamed of who I am?
If I feel guilty, which rule do I feel I broke?
Do I still personally think that rule is right today?
If no one were judging me and I weren’t afraid of disappointing Jehovah, would I make the same decision?
Which values do I want to consciously keep, whether I remain one of Jehovah’s Witnesses or not?
Which beliefs do I want to examine again?
Summary
A conscience feels deeply personal, but that does not mean everything it says comes exclusively from within you.
A conscience is shaped over a lifetime by parents, experiences, culture, religion, and people to whom we assign authority. Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, that can include children’s videos, meetings, publications, elders, and the recurring question “What does Jehovah think about this?” from an early age.
That does not have to be harmful automatically. Parents usually try to pass on values to their children that they sincerely believe are good.
But precisely because a conscience can be shaped so deeply, it is valuable to learn to distinguish between feeling guilty and being guilty.
Even someone who remains one of Jehovah’s Witnesses can examine their conscience. And someone who leaves does not have to destroy their old conscience or reverse all former values.
The question does not have to be:
“What am I finally allowed to do now?”
but rather:
“Which values do I truly consider important, why do I think that, and which choices fit the person I want to be?”
Perhaps, in the end, it is not only important:
“Why is my conscience telling me this is wrong?”
but especially:
“Who taught my conscience this — and do I still believe it myself?”
Sources and further reading
New World Translation – Romans 2:14, 15; 1 Corinthians 8:7-13; 1 Timothy 1:5, 19. Bible verses about conscience and personal responsibility.
The Watchtower – Use Bible principles to shape your conscience, May 2026. About upbringing, culture, and shaping the conscience.
Jehovah’s Witnesses – Become Jehovah’s friend. Children’s videos with David and Sophie in which Bible standards are applied to everyday situations.
Jehovah’s Witnesses – Become Jehovah’s friend: One Man, One Woman. Material about God’s standard for marriage and relationships.
Life and Ministry Meeting – Uphold Jehovah’s Moral Standards, June 2017. About teaching moral standards to children.
Jehovah’s Witnesses – Parents, teach your children how to make Jehovah happy. About faith-based parenting and God’s approval.
Jehovah’s Witnesses – For Eternity Happy! Lessons about decisions, honesty, sexuality, marriage, holidays, and entertainment.
Albert Bandura – Social Learning Theory. About learning through observation, examples, and social reactions.
Developmental psychological research on moral development, socialization, guilt, and shame. Background on the formation of norms and conscience.
Read also
The truth – What does it do when a child is taught to call their religion “the truth” from a young age?
Faith-based upbringing – Who shapes a child’s faith and behavior within the congregation?
Elder – What influence can an elder have on personal and spiritual decisions?
Satan – What role do Satan, danger, and spiritual protection play in a child’s worldview?
Free will – How free is a decision when your conscience has already been strongly shaped?
Worldly – Why can ordinary preferences evoke guilt when they have been taught as “worldly”?
