B - Repentance

Recognizable questions What do Jehovah’s Witnesses mean by sincere repentance? What does someone have to do to return after being disfellowshipped? Who decides when someone has repented enough? Is there a fixed waiting period? Are elders professionally trained to judge repentance? Can different elders assess the same person differently? Are the psychological effects of disfellowshipping taken into account? And what if someone feels their reinstatement is taking unnecessarily long? What does repentance mean? Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, repentance means more than saying you are sorry. According to their explanation, it involves truly recognizing that something was wrong, being genuinely sorry about it, and changing your conduct. In the case of a serious sin, the assessment of repentance can have major consequences. According to the current explanation, someone is not automatically removed from the congregation simply because they committed a serious sin. Elders try to help them come to repentance. If, in their view, the person shows no repentance, disfellowshipping may eventually follow. Repentance is therefore not only a religious concept. In practice, it can partly determine whether someone can remain in the congregation or return to it . What does someone have to do to return? According to Jehovah’s Witnesses, someone who has been disfellowshipped can later return to the congregation. For that to happen, the organization says it must become clear that the person has repented, has stopped the wrong conduct, and wants to live again according to Bible standards. Since the changes in 2024, it has been emphasized more strongly that elders should keep trying to help a disfellowshipped person. In most cases, after a few months they want to make contact again to see whether the person’s attitude has changed. Officially, then, there is no message saying: “You’ve been disfellowshipped; now figure it out for yourself.” The possibility of returning remains. How long does someone remain a ‘disfellowshipped person’? According to Jehovah’s Witnesses’ current public information, there is no fixed minimum period that every disfellowshipped person must first go through. Not the calendar, but repentance is supposed to be central. In the 2024 publications, when discussing the man in Corinth, even the possibility is mentioned that only a few months passed between his disfellowshipping and Paul’s urging to welcome him back lovingly. So in theory, one person may return sooner than another. That naturally raises an important question: Who decides when there is enough evidence of repentance? Who decides whether someone has repented enough? That assessment is made by elders . The person may say, “I sincerely repent.” But for reinstatement to the congregation, their own statement is not the only criterion. Elders must judge whether they see sufficient indications that the person’s attitude and behavior have truly changed. There is a complicated element here. Repentance is partly internal. Another human being cannot directly see what someone thinks, feels, or experiences in their relationship with God. So elders can only assess what they can observe: what someone says, what they do, whether the wrong conduct has stopped, and what changes are visible. Having repentance and showing repentance That is why it is useful to distinguish between: Having repentance - what someone truly thinks, feels, and has changed. Showing repentance - what other people can observe about it. Those two do not always come across exactly the same way. One person talks easily about feelings and cries during a conversation. Another is closed off, feels ashamed, or has trouble putting feelings into words. Personality, cultural background, mental health issues, and neurodiversity can all affect how someone expresses feelings or comes across during such a conversation. That is why visible emotional intensity alone is not a reliable psychological measure of the depth of someone’s repentance . Are elders professionals? Elders are not professional psychologists, psychiatrists, or behavioral specialists by virtue of their role as elders . Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, they are experienced Christian men who provide spiritual instruction and pastoral care. They are trained by the organization for their religious responsibilities and use Bible-based and organizational guidelines when handling serious sins. That is different from university or professional training in psychology, psychiatry, or diagnosis. An individual elder may of course happen to be a psychologist, doctor, social worker, or therapist. Another may have a great deal of life experience and people skills. But that does not follow from the fact that he is an elder. Their assessment of repentance is therefore first and foremost a religious assessment, not a clinical one . How well do elders know the person? That can vary greatly. Some elders may have known a person for decades. Other elders know him mainly from the congregation or from a few conversations. Even when someone is well known, elders do not automatically know his full psychological background, upbringing, relationship problems, trauma, addiction, mental health, or other circumstances that can affect behavior. That is not all necessarily required for every religious decision either. But it does become important when a religious judgment is interpreted as if it also fully reveals why someone behaves the way he does or what he truly feels . Can different elders judge differently? That is possible, precisely because elders are people who have to apply guidelines to individual situations. Jehovah’s Witnesses try to use the same principles worldwide through biblical and organizational instructions. So it is not the intention that every elder should decide for himself what repentance means. Still, human judgment does not disappear because of that. One elder may have more experience. One may find it easier to show empathy. Another may be more cautious before he is convinced. One person may see certain behavior as a clear sign of change, while another still has doubts. That does not automatically mean decisions are arbitrary. It does mean that the judgment of repentance is never completely separate from the people making that judgment . Can one person therefore return more quickly than another? Yes, but that does not automatically mean someone is being treated unfairly. The circumstances can differ. The sin can differ. The conduct after disfellowshipping can differ. The degree to which change is visible can differ. But beyond that, the question remains how much human interpretation plays a role. When two people say they sincerely repent, there is no psychological meter on which elders can simply read: Person A: 80% repentance. Person B: 55% repentance. They have to make an assessment. Precisely because the consequences of that assessment can be significant, carefulness is important. Is psychological suffering taken into account in the decision? Here an important distinction must be made. The current official explanation places the main emphasis for reinstatement on repentance, changed conduct, and restoration of the relationship with Jehovah and the congregation . That is something different from a professional assessment of the psychological effects of disfellowshipping. For some people, a period of disfellowshipping can go hand in hand with severe loneliness, grief, anxiety, guilt, or depressive symptoms, especially when family and almost the entire social network are in the congregation. But psychological suffering in itself is not proof of repentance . The reverse is also true: someone can truly repent without suffering severe psychological distress. Should psychological harm then be weighed, though? That is a different question from what the current religious criteria are. A faith community can say: ‘We must determine whether someone is repentant.’ At the same time, from a human and psychological perspective, one can ask: ‘What is this period of disfellowshipping doing to this person in the meantime?’ Those questions do not have to exclude each other. If someone becomes seriously depressed during the disfellowshipping period, stops functioning, or develops suicidal thoughts, that calls for attention — regardless of the religious assessment of his repentance. Professional help may be necessary for that. Elders can provide spiritual support, but serious psychological complaints sometimes require expertise that lies outside their religious role. What if someone believes themselves that they have long since repented? That can create a particularly painful situation. The person may think: ‘Jehovah knows that I am sincerely repentant. Why am I still not allowed back?’ At the same time, the elders may think: ‘We still do not see enough evidence to be convinced that the change is lasting.’ Both parties can be sincere and still reach a different conclusion. For the disfellowshipped person, that difference can weigh heavily, especially when reinstatement also affects his social and family contacts. Then waiting is not only about a religious status. It can also mean that someone remains outside a community in which a large part of his life took place. Can an overly long period cause additional complaints? Social exclusion and the loss of important relationships can be psychologically hard. Research into ostracism shows that being excluded can affect fundamental human needs, including belonging, self-worth, control, and the feeling of mattering. Specific research among former Jehovah’s Witnesses has likewise described that the loss of social relationships after shunning was accompanied for some participants by significant emotional and psychological problems. That said, caution is needed: the available JW-specific research includes, among other things, small qualitative studies. From that you cannot conclude that every disfellowshipped JW experiences the same psychological effects. Even so, there is enough reason to take possible psychological consequences seriously . When someone remains disfellowshipped longer than they expected, while important contacts remain limited, that can for some people increase the existing grief or psychological strain. What if the elders make a mistake? Jehovah’s Witnesses themselves teach that elders are imperfect people. The Governing Body also says it is not inspired or infallible. It therefore follows logically that a human judgment cannot by definition be flawless . An elder can misunderstand something. A person may express themselves badly. Information may be incomplete. Behavior can be interpreted differently than intended. That does not mean every decision is wrong. It also does not mean elders deliberately want someone to suffer. But when a human decision has major consequences, it is reasonable to allow for the possibility of human error. For someone who is convinced that they are sincerely repentant, a mistaken or, in their view, overly cautious assessment can cause feelings of powerlessness, frustration, and injustice . Who ultimately knows the heart? Within the belief system of Jehovah’s Witnesses, ultimately Jehovah is the one who can fully know the heart . 1 Samuel 16:7 says that humans look at what is visible, while Jehovah looks at the heart. That makes the elders’ position a special one. They must make a decision that is necessary in the visible congregation, while according to the same religious belief they cannot have the same knowledge of a person’s heart as God. An important distinction is therefore: Elders judge what they can observe. Jehovah, in the faith, judges the heart. That does not automatically have to produce the same degree of certainty. What can you do if you want to return? When you want to return after disfellowshipping, according to the current explanation of Jehovah’s Witnesses you can contact the elders and show that you have stopped the wrong behavior and want to live again according to Bible standards. It may help during conversations to clearly ask yourself: What else do you expect from me? Which concrete signs of repentance are, in your view, still missing? When will we speak again? Is there behavior that, in your view, shows I am not ready to return yet? That does not automatically make an assessment easier, but it can prevent someone from going months without understanding what they are actually being judged on . Repentance and returning are not exactly the same There is another important distinction. Someone can repent of what they have done , while at the same time having doubts about certain teachings of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Or someone may very much want to return because they miss their family and friends, while not yet knowing what they believe religiously themselves. That is why at least three questions need to be distinguished from one another: Do I repent of my behavior? Do I believe again what Jehovah’s Witnesses teach? Why do I want to return to the congregation? Those answers do not automatically have to be the same. For someone who is thinking about returning, that distinction may be especially important. Questions to think about Do I repent because I myself think my behavior was wrong, or mainly because I am experiencing the consequences of it? What do the elders concretely mean by evidence of repentance? How is it prevented that personality or emotional expression is mistaken for more or less repentance? How much do the elders actually know about my circumstances? What happens when the elders differ among themselves about my repentance? Is my mental well-being taken seriously enough, even when it does not determine whether I am restored? If elders can make mistakes, what room is there to correct an incorrect judgment? And if only Jehovah fully knows my heart, what does that mean for the certainty with which people can judge my repentance? Finally Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, repentance is a central requirement in cases of serious sin and when returning after disfellowshipping. There is no public, fixed waiting period that every disfellowshipped person must first go through. The current understanding instead emphasizes continuing to help the person and allowing a return as soon as genuine repentance and change become evident. But there is also a human factor in that. The person’s inner repentance has to be assessed by elders based on what they can observe. Elders have a religious and pastoral role; because of that role, they are not professional psychologists or psychiatrists. Precisely when their judgment also determines how long someone remains disfellowshipped and may therefore experience major social consequences, a fundamental question arises: If only Jehovah truly knows the heart, how do you determine, as a human, when someone has shown enough repentance to be fully accepted back into the congregation? Sources The Watchtower - August 2024 - Help for Those Disfellowshipped From the Congregation The Watchtower - August 2024 - Imitate Jehovah’s View of Sinners in the Congregation JW.org - How Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Treat Former Believers? JW.org - For Eternity!, lesson 57 - What If You Commit a Serious Sin? New World Translation - 1 Samuel 16:7; 2 Corinthians 2:6-8; Galatians 6:1; James 5:14, 15 Kipling D. Williams - Ostracism: A Temporal Need-Threat Model Ransom, Monk & Heim - Grieving the Living: The Social Death of Former Jehovah’s Witnesses Luther - What Happens to Those Who Exit Jehovah’s Witnesses: An Investigation of the Impact of Shunning See also in the A-Z Glossary of Jehovah’s Witnesses C - Committee of elders - Who handles serious sin and assesses repentance? H - Restoration - How can someone return after disfellowshipping? O - Elder - What tasks and responsibilities does an elder have? V - Disfellowshipping - What does it mean when someone is removed from the congregation? Z - Sin - Which behaviors are considered serious sin?