Z - Black-and-white thinking

Recognizable questions

- Why does something sometimes feel either completely right or completely wrong?

- Why can someone seem fully trustworthy at first and then suddenly not at all anymore?

- Why do people under stress tend to think in extremes more often?

- And how do you learn to see more room between black and white?

Black-and-white thinking is a way of thinking in which situations, people, or ideas are mainly judged in extremes. Something is then, for example, right or wrong, safe or dangerous, trustworthy or untrustworthy, a success or a failure. There seems to be little room for an in-between position.
Reality is usually more complicated. People can have good intentions and still make mistakes. A situation can have both advantages and disadvantages. Someone can be honest and still be mistaken at the same time. Black-and-white thinking makes a complex reality more manageable, but in doing so it can also remove important nuance.

Why does our brain do this?

Our brain has to process large amounts of information constantly. To be able to make quick decisions, it uses all kinds of mental simplifications. In psychology, this includes so-called heuristics: ways to arrive at a judgment or decision quickly without a full analysis.
Black-and-white thinking is not simply one specific heuristic, but it does fit with our tendency to simplify complex information. That can feel comforting. If something fits neatly into a box, we have to live with uncertainty for less time. Then we do not have to keep thinking: Maybe it is this way, but maybe it is different too.

Black-and-white thinking is not always wrong

Sometimes a simple decision is actually necessary. For example:

• a red light means stop;

• a child who suddenly runs into the road must be stopped;

• fire can be dangerous;

• in an acute medical emergency, acting quickly can be important.

In such situations, it does not help to endlessly weigh all the possibilities. But people, relationships, beliefs, and life questions are much more complicated than a traffic light. There, the same way of thinking can become misleading.

When does black-and-white thinking become a problem?

It becomes especially difficult when we reduce complex situations to two extremes. For example: “If someone lies about this, I can never trust him in anything.” Or: “If this organization has made one mistake, everything it does is wrong.”
But it can work the exact other way around too: “If this organization does many good things, then criticism of it cannot be justified.” Both statements leave little room for nuance.
The same can happen in relationships: “If my partner really loved me, he would never do this.” Or toward ourselves: “I made one mistake, so I am a failure.” and “I have doubts about this, so my whole belief is no longer right.”
An event usually does not say everything about a person, relationship, or belief.

Good and wrong can exist at the same time

Nuance means that two seemingly contradictory things can sometimes both be true at once. Someone can:

• love you and hurt you;

• be trustworthy in one area and untrustworthy in another;

• have good intentions and still make harmful choices;

• be intelligent and still be mistaken.

Several things can also be true at the same time about a group or organization. People may experience community, meaning, and support there, while at the same time there are rules or practices that others struggle with.
Nuance does not mean that everything becomes relative. Some things can still clearly be harmful, wrong, or unacceptable. It only means that you try not to conclude more than the available information justifies.

Why does black-and-white thinking sometimes increase with anxiety and stress?

When people experience a lot of stress or anxiety, their attention more easily becomes focused on threat, risk, and avoiding mistakes. Under pressure, it can be harder to calmly hold multiple possibilities in mind.
Then thoughts can become more absolute more quickly:

• Everything is going wrong.

• No one understands me.

• I can no longer trust anyone.

• There is no solution.

• If I make this wrong choice, everything is lost.

In such a moment, a thought can feel not just like a possibility, but almost like a fact. When the tension later eases, someone sometimes sees alternatives again that were barely visible before.

Certainty can be attractive

Black-and-white thinking has another appeal too: certainty. Sometimes it is harder to think “I don’t know yet” than “I’m sure this is right.”
Uncertainty requires us to hold several possibilities at once without immediately drawing a final conclusion. That is why clear rules and categories can feel reassuring. That does not have to be a bad thing. But when certainty becomes more important than new information, it can become harder to revise an opinion.

Black-and-white thinking within groups

Black-and-white thinking does not only happen in individuals. Groups can also divide reality sharply:

• us versus them;

• good people versus bad people;

• loyal versus disloyal;

• safe versus dangerous;

• inside the group versus outside the group.

This can happen within religious groups, political movements, friend groups, companies, families, and online communities. Such a clear group division can provide identity, belonging, predictability, clear standards, and a sense of safety.
But the same division can also make it harder to assess information or people outside the group impartially. It is important to realize that this is a general human and psychological phenomenon and not something that occurs exclusively in one particular group.

“If you’re not for us, you’re against us”

A well-known example of black-and-white thinking is the idea: “If you don’t agree with us, you’re against us.”
That wipes out many middle positions. Someone can also say:

• “I agree with many things, but not with this.”

• “I don’t know yet.”

• “I’m critical of this rule, but I do appreciate other aspects.”

• “My beliefs have changed without me becoming hostile toward the people.”

When only complete agreement or complete rejection is seen, such middle positions easily disappear from view.

Black-and-white thinking can remain even after a change in beliefs

Leaving a particular belief does not automatically mean black-and-white thinking disappears. Sometimes only the content changes.
At first, someone might think, for example: “Everyone in the group is safe and everyone outside it is dangerous.” Later that may change to: “Everyone in the group is bad and everyone who left finally sees it correctly.”
The camps have then been reversed, but the way of thinking may have stayed the same.
That is an important reason not to apply critical thinking only to an old belief, but also to new beliefs. The question then becomes not only: “Was I right before?” but also: “How do I know I’m right now?”

How do you recognize black-and-white thinking?

Everyone thinks in extremes sometimes. That does not automatically mean there is a problem. Still, certain words can be a clue:

• always;

• never;

• everyone;

• no one;

• everything;

• nothing;

• completely;

• totally;

• impossible;

• absolutely.

For example: “She always acts like that.” “No one understands me.” “If this doesn’t work, then everything is pointless.” Or: “Everyone in that group thinks the same.”
Such a word does not have to be wrong by definition. But it can be useful to ask yourself: Is that really always the case?

A simple exercise: from 0 or 100 to a scale

Black-and-white thinking often works as if there are only two numbers: 0 or 100. You can challenge yourself to look for an in-between number.
Instead of “I don’t trust him at all anymore” you can ask: “How much trust do I have right now, from 0 to 100?” Maybe the answer is 35. That feels very different from zero.
Or instead of “This day was worthless”: “Which part of this day was difficult and which part was actually okay?”
Using a scale makes nuance more concrete.

Look for the word ‘and’

Another simple exercise is to try using and where you would normally see only one side:

• “I love my family and some of the things they do hurt me.”

• “I have good memories of my faith and I’ve also had difficult experiences.”

• “I made this decision myself and I was also influenced by my environment.”

• “I know a lot about this subject and I can still be wrong.”

The word and makes room for two realities at the same time.

How do you learn to think in more nuance?

Nuance does not mean you may never have a clear opinion again. It means trying to leave room for information that does not immediately fit your existing conclusion.
Questions that can help:

• What information am I still missing?

That last question can be surprising. We easily say: “I know for sure.” But when we have to name a percentage, it sometimes turns out there is still room for doubt.

Nuance is not the same as indecision

Some people fear that nuanced thinking means you can no longer take a stand on anything. It doesn’t have to.
You might say, for example: “I’ve looked into different viewpoints, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want this.” That is still a clear choice.
The difference is that your conclusion doesn’t come from only allowing two possibilities from the start. You’ve considered alternatives and then made a decision.

Questions to think about

• Which people have I ever seen as completely good or bad?

• Can someone be a good person and still do something I strongly disapprove of?

• Can an organization help people while also making mistakes?

• Have I ever changed my mind after getting new information?

• Which words do I often use: always, never, everyone, or no one?

• Which middle ground would I miss if I only saw two possibilities?

• How would someone with a different background view the same situation?

• What information could make me change my mind?

• Do I give people outside my own group the same room to make mistakes as people inside my group?

• After changing a belief, have I perhaps started thinking in two camps again?

• When was the last time I was completely sure of something that later turned out to be more nuanced?

In conclusion

Black-and-white thinking is human. Our brains like clarity, especially when reality feels complicated or threatening. But many important questions in life don’t fit neatly into two boxes.
People can love and make mistakes. A belief can give meaning and at the same time raise questions. You can be critical of something without rejecting everything. And you can see great value in something without deciding that criticism is impossible.
Maybe that is why one of the most important questions is:

“What possibility do I not see when I only look at black and white?”

That is often where the gray area begins, where independent thinking becomes possible.

Sources

American Psychological Association - information on cognitive distortions, stress and cognition
Aaron T. Beck - Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders
Judith S. Beck - Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond
Daniel Kahneman - Thinking, Fast and Slow