Z-Black-and-white thinking

Recognizable questions Why does something sometimes feel either completely right or completely wrong? Why can someone first seem fully trustworthy and then suddenly not at all? Why do people under stress think more in extremes? And how do you learn to see more space between black and white? Black-and-white thinking is a way of thinking in which situations, people, or ideas are judged mainly in extremes. Something is then, for example, good or bad, safe or dangerous, trustworthy or untrustworthy, successful or failed . There seems to be little room for a middle ground. Reality is usually more complicated. People can have good intentions and still make mistakes. A situation can have advantages and disadvantages. Someone can be honest and at the same time be mistaken. Black-and-white thinking makes a complex reality more manageable, but it can also strip away important nuance. Why does our brain do this? Our brain has to process large amounts of information constantly. To make decisions quickly, it uses all kinds of mental shortcuts. In psychology, this includes what are called heuristics : ways to arrive at a judgment or decision quickly without a full analysis. Black-and-white thinking is not simply one specific heuristic, but it does fit our tendency to simplify complicated information. That can feel comforting. If something clearly fits into a box, we have less uncertainty to live with. Then we do not have to keep thinking: Maybe it is like this, but maybe also otherwise. Black-and-white thinking is not always wrong Sometimes a simple decision is actually necessary. For example: red light means stop; a child who suddenly runs into the road must be stopped; fire can be dangerous; in an acute medical emergency, acting quickly can be important. In such situations, it does not help to endlessly weigh all the possibilities. But people, relationships, beliefs, and life questions are much more complicated than a traffic light. In those cases, the same way of thinking can become misleading. When does black-and-white thinking become a problem? It becomes especially difficult when we reduce complex situations to two extremes. For example: “If someone lies about this, I can’t trust him about anything.” Or: “If this organization has made one mistake, everything it does is wrong.” But it can work exactly the other way around too: “If this organization does a lot of good things, then criticism of it cannot be justified.” Both statements leave little room for nuance. The same can happen in relationships: “If my partner really loved me, he would never do this.” Or toward ourselves: “I made one mistake, so I’m a failure.” and “I have doubts about this, so my whole belief must be wrong.” A single event usually does not say everything about a person, relationship, or belief. Good and bad can exist at the same time Nuance means that two seemingly contradictory things can sometimes both be true at once. Someone can: love you and hurt you; be trustworthy in one area and untrustworthy in another; have good intentions and still make harmful choices; be intelligent and still be mistaken. Multiple things can also be true about a group or organization at the same time. People may experience community, meaning, and support there, while at the same time there are rules or practices that others struggle with. Nuance does not mean everything becomes relative. Some things can still clearly be harmful, incorrect, or unacceptable. It only means that you try not to conclude more than the available information justifies . Why does black-and-white thinking sometimes increase with anxiety and stress? When people experience a lot of stress or anxiety, their attention more easily becomes focused on threat, risk, and avoiding mistakes. Under pressure, it can become harder to calmly hold multiple possibilities side by side. Then thoughts can become more absolute more quickly: Everything is going wrong. Nobody understands me. I can’t trust anyone anymore. There is no solution. If I make this wrong choice, everything is lost. At such a moment, a thought can feel not just like a possibility, but almost like a fact. When the tension later decreases, someone sometimes sees alternatives again that were hardly visible before. Certainty can be appealing Black-and-white thinking has another attraction: certainty . It is sometimes harder to think “I don’t know yet” than “I know for sure this is right.” Uncertainty requires us to tolerate multiple possibilities without immediately drawing a final conclusion. That is why clear rules and categories can bring peace of mind. That does not have to be a bad thing. But when certainty becomes more important than new information, it can become harder to revise an opinion. Black-and-white thinking within groups Black-and-white thinking does not only occur in individual people. Groups, too, can divide reality sharply: us versus them; good people versus bad people; loyal versus disloyal; safe versus dangerous; inside the group versus outside the group. This can occur within religious groups, political movements, groups of friends, companies, families, and online communities. Such a clear group division can provide identity, belonging, predictability, clear standards, and a sense of safety. But the same division can also make it harder to assess information or people outside the group objectively. It is important to realize that this is a general human and psychological phenomenon and not something that occurs exclusively in one particular group. “If you’re not for us, you’re against us” A well-known example of black-and-white thinking is the idea: “If you don’t agree with us, you’re against us.” That leaves out many middle positions. In fact, someone might also say: “I agree with many things, but not with this.” “I don’t know yet.” “I’m critical of this rule, but I do appreciate other aspects.” “My beliefs have changed without me becoming hostile toward the people.” When only total agreement or total rejection is seen, such middle positions easily disappear from view. Black-and-white thinking can remain even after a change in beliefs Leaving a certain belief does not automatically mean black-and-white thinking disappears. Sometimes only the content changes. At first, someone may think: “Everyone in the group is safe and everyone outside it is dangerous.” Later, that may change to: “Everyone in the group is bad and everyone who left it can finally see the truth.” The camps have then been reversed, but the way of thinking may have remained the same. That is an important reason to apply critical thinking not only to an old belief, but also to new beliefs. The question then becomes not only: “Was I right before?” but also: “How do I know I’m right now?” How do you recognize black-and-white thinking? Everyone thinks in extremes sometimes. That does not automatically mean there is a problem. Still, certain words can be a clue: always; never; everyone; no one; everything; nothing; completely; totally; impossible; absolutely. For example: “She is always like that.” “No one understands me.” “If this doesn’t work, then everything is pointless.” Or: “Everyone in that group thinks the same.” A word like that is not necessarily wrong. But it can be useful to ask yourself: Is this really always true? A simple exercise: from 0 or 100 to a scale Black-and-white thinking often works as if there are only two numbers: 0 or 100 . You can challenge yourself to find a number in between. Instead of “I don’t trust him at all anymore” , you can ask: “How much trust do I have right now, from 0 to 100?” Maybe the answer is 35. That feels very different from zero. Or instead of “This day was worthless” : “Which part of this day was hard, and which part was okay?” Using a scale makes nuance more concrete. Look for the word ‘and’ Another simple exercise is to try to use and where you might normally see only one side: “I love my family and some of the things they do hurt me.” “I have good memories of my faith and I have had difficult experiences with it.” “I made this decision myself and I was influenced by my environment.” “I know a lot about this topic and I can still be wrong.” The word and makes room for two realities at the same time. How do you learn to think in more nuance? Nuance does not mean you are never allowed to have a clear opinion again. It means you try to keep space open for information that does not fit directly into your existing conclusion. Questions that can help: What information am I still missing? Is there another explanation? Am I seeing only two extremes? What lies between those two extremes? Can someone be wrong in one area and right in another? Can someone mean well and still cause harm? What information could change my opinion? Would someone with a different background judge this differently? Am I making a statement about one event or about the whole person? How certain am I really: 60%, 80%, or truly 100%? That last question can be surprising. We easily say: “I’m sure.” But when we have to name a percentage, it sometimes turns out there is still room for doubt. Nuance is not the same as indecision Some people fear that nuanced thinking means you can no longer stand for anything. That is certainly not the case. You can, for example, say: “I’ve looked into different viewpoints and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want this.” That is still a clear choice. The difference is that your conclusion does not come from allowing only two possibilities from the outset. You have considered alternatives and then made a decision. Questions to reflect on Which people have I ever seen as completely good or completely bad? Can someone be a good person and still do something I strongly disapprove of? Can an organization help people and at the same time make mistakes? Have I ever changed my mind after receiving new information? Which words do I often use: always, never, everyone, or no one? What middle ground would I miss if I only saw two possibilities? How would someone with a different background view the same situation? What information could make me change my mind? Do I give people outside my own group the same room for mistakes as people within my group? After a change in belief, have I perhaps started thinking in two camps again? When was the last time I was completely certain about something that later turned out to be more nuanced? In closing Black-and-white thinking is human. Our brains like clarity, especially when reality feels complicated or threatening. But many important questions in life do not fit neatly into two boxes. People can love and make mistakes. A belief can give meaning and at the same time raise questions. You can be critical of something without rejecting everything. And you can see a lot of value in something without deciding that criticism is impossible. Maybe that is why one of the most important questions is: “What possibility am I not seeing when I only look at black and white?” That is often where the gray area begins, where independent thinking becomes possible. Sources American Psychological Association - information on cognitive distortions, stress and cognition Aaron T. Beck - Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders Judith S. Beck - Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond Daniel Kahneman - Thinking, Fast and Slow