V - Privileges

Recognizable questions Why is cleaning the Kingdom Hall called a privilege? Why can conducting a Bible study feel like recognition? Why did I find it hard to say no to something that was voluntary? Can I genuinely appreciate a privilege and still find it too much? What does it do to you when you are seen as reliable, capable, or spiritually mature? And how much room is left for family, work, and rest when many separate forms of service all add up? What does ‘privilege’ mean? In everyday Dutch, a privilege is something special: an opportunity, position, or favor that is not taken for granted. Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, the word is used more broadly. It can refer to an official responsibility, but also to activities that are seen as part of service to Jehovah. For example, someone may speak about the privilege of preaching , conducting a Bible study , cleaning the Kingdom Hall, pioneering, helping with construction or maintenance work, or carrying responsibility in the congregation. The idea behind it is usually positive: ‘I get to do something for Jehovah.’ Even cleaning can be a privilege For someone outside Jehovah’s Witnesses, it may sound unusual: ‘We have the privilege of cleaning the hall this week.’ You could also simply say: ‘It’s our turn to clean.’ But within the faith, the same activity takes on a different meaning. The Kingdom Hall is used for worshipping Jehovah. Keeping it clean can therefore be seen as more than household work. Not just: ‘I’m cleaning a building.’ but: ‘I’m contributing to a place used for our worship.’ For many Jehovah’s Witnesses, that can genuinely feel rewarding. The privilege of preaching in freedom Preaching can be experienced in that way too. In countries such as the Netherlands, it is permitted to speak about your faith, go from house to house, or share the Bible’s message in other ways. A Jehovah’s Witness may feel sincerely grateful for that, especially when hearing about fellow believers in countries where religious activity is restricted. The thought may be: ‘Here we have the freedom to preach. What a privilege that we’re allowed to do that.’ For someone who believes the message can help others, preaching can therefore be both a privilege and a responsibility . Privilege and responsibility can coexist That distinction is important. Someone may think: ‘I don’t have to do this because someone is forcing me. I want to do this because I love Jehovah.’ At the same time, he may feel: ‘If I have the opportunity to do something for Jehovah, I want to take advantage of it.’ In that way, a voluntary activity can become a strong sense of responsibility. That does not have to be contradictory. The same happens outside religion too. Someone may volunteer as a caregiver and still feel deeply responsible for the person they care for. Conducting a Bible study Sisters can also conduct Bible studies. For a sister, it may feel special when she is asked to help someone get to know the Bible or to rebuild spiritual interest. Not every task is assigned randomly. Depending on the responsibility, qualities such as reliability, competence, spiritual maturity, and a good reputation can play a role. When someone is asked to do that, it may therefore mean more than: ‘Someone is needed and you have the time.’ It can feel like: ‘They trust me.’ ‘They think I’m suited to help this person.’ ‘I’m being given the chance to do something valuable for Jehovah.’ A good reputation does something to a person People generally like it when others express confidence in them. Within a religious community, that can carry even more meaning when recognition is tied to something someone sees as spiritually important. A compliment from an elder, a new responsibility, or being asked to help someone can confirm: ‘My efforts are noticed.’ ‘I am reliable.’ ‘Apparently I’m doing well.’ That does not have to be about status. For many active Jehovah’s Witnesses, the main meaning will actually be: ‘I’m allowed to do more for Jehovah.’ But human recognition and religious motivation can coexist. Positive affirmation is not automatically ‘love bombing’ Sometimes positive attention within close-knit groups is quickly called lovebombing . That word is not always appropriate. An elder thanking someone, a brother expressing appreciation, or a congregation being happy with someone’s efforts is not automatically manipulative. People give each other compliments and recognition everywhere. We do know from psychology, though, that positive reinforcement can strengthen behavior . When effort leads to appreciation, trust, belonging, or more responsibility, that can be extra motivating. That is a general human mechanism. The interesting question is therefore not: “Is every compliment manipulation?” but rather: “What meaning does that appreciation have for me, and how much influence does it have on what I then expect of myself?” When “they trust me” can also create pressure Precisely when someone feels honored by a request, saying no can become harder. Suppose a sister is asked to conduct a Bible study. She thinks: “How lovely that they’re asking me for this.” But at the same time: “Do I actually have time for this?” When those two thoughts clash, a privilege can suddenly become complicated. Because saying no may then feel not only like: “My schedule is full.” It can also start to feel like: “I’m turning down an opportunity to serve Jehovah.” or: “Then who will help this person?” A recognizable example A former sister says that she was once asked to take on a Bible study. Her life was already very full at the time. She worked, had children, and there was a lot to be done at home. She felt that her available time and energy had basically already been used up. Even so, she found it very hard to say no. She wanted to help the woman. In addition, the thought played a role: “I’ve received so much myself. I want to show Jehovah that I’m grateful for what I believe and help someone else.” And: “If I don’t do it, who will help her?” So she accepted the study. She truly experienced it as a privilege. But at the same time, it felt heavy. Looking back, she can place both sides next to each other: “I wanted to do it, and I didn’t actually have room for it.” Those two feelings can be true at the same time That is an important point. When someone later says that a privilege felt like a burden, that does not automatically mean they did not want it at the time. A person can want something very much and still go beyond their own limits. You can love your children and still find parenting difficult at times. You can be proud of your job and still become overworked. You can carry out religious tasks with conviction and still notice: “This is becoming too much for me.” The value of the activity and the burden it creates do not have to exclude each other. Voluntarily accepting is not always the same as feeling free to refuse There is also a difference between: “No one forced me to say yes.” and: “I felt completely free to say no.” That distinction does not have to mean that someone was actually under coercion. The pressure can come from within. For example through: faith , conscience , gratitude , a sense of responsibility , compassion , expectations or the desire not to disappoint someone. As a result, someone may fully voluntarily say: “Yes, I’ll do it.” while part of them thinks: “Actually, I can’t really turn this down.” “Then who will help her?” Especially when a privilege involves another person, responsibility can feel heavy. You may find it easier to skip a cleaning assignment. But when someone thinks another person needs spiritual help, a human element is added: “If I say no, am I letting her down?” That is not necessarily what the elder who asked meant. It can be the meaning the person gives it themselves. Precisely caring, conscientious people can therefore have difficulty setting boundaries. Gratitude can be a strong motivator Gratitude is a powerful motivation. A believer may think: “I’ve been given hope.” “I’ve come to know Jehovah.” “I have a congregation.” “I want to give something back.” That can be a warm and sincere motivation. But for some people the same thought can also shift into: “After everything I’ve been given, I really shouldn’t say no.” Then there is a subtle shift from: “I’d like to do this.” to: “I should do this.” Not everyone experiences that shift. But when it does happen, it can help to recognize it. Many small responsibilities can add up to something big One activity doesn’t have to take an excessive amount of time. But the total package can add up significantly. Think of: meetings, preparation, personal Bible study, family worship, preaching, a Bible study, hall maintenance, conventions, and possibly additional responsibilities. For many people, there are also: work, children, relationships, household duties, caregiving, health, and rest. That is why the time one activity takes does not always give a complete picture. The relevant question is sometimes: ‘How much time and energy do all my responsibilities together require?’ Serving Jehovah and caring for the family Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, great value is also placed on responsibility for one’s own family. A parent not only has religious activities, but also children who need attention, time, and practical care. A marriage requires attention. A job may be necessary. Rest and health are important too. So the choice does not have to be: ‘Either I am spiritual, or I care for my family.’ The difficulty often lies precisely in finding a balance between different responsibilities that all feel important. When a privilege starts to feel like a burden The word privilege has a positive connotation. That can make it hard to admit: ‘Right now I experience this mainly as a burden.’ Someone may even feel guilty about that: ‘Why am I not more grateful?’ ‘Other people would be happy with this opportunity.’ ‘Why can’t I manage this?’ But being overwhelmed does not automatically make someone ungrateful. It may simply mean that the available time and capacity are not unlimited. The hardest sentence may be: ‘I want to, but I can’t’ Sometimes a boundary is simple: ‘I don’t want this.’ But much harder is: ‘I would like to do it, but I can’t carry it at the moment.’ Because then the motivation is there. The love for Jehovah may be there. The desire to help someone may be there. Only the available capacity is lacking. That distinction can be important, because someone else may easily start interpreting their own limits as a spiritual failing. Good reputation and privileges Within a congregation, reputation plays a role in various responsibilities. Someone entrusted with an assignment or spiritual responsibility is generally expected to conduct himself or herself in a way that fits the community’s standards. But not every privilege has the same conditions. Some activities have specific requirements regarding age, baptism, gender, experience, ability, or spiritual reputation. So it is too simplistic to say: ‘Everyone with a good reputation gets privileges.’ More accurately: a good reputation, reliability, and exemplary conduct can be factors in the question of which responsibilities someone may receive. Privileges can therefore also become recognition That can make receiving a privilege emotionally important. Not being given what others receive may raise questions: ‘Why don’t they ask me?’ ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ ‘Am I not spiritual enough?’ Conversely, being given it can be very satisfying: ‘They trust me.’ Again, that does not have to mean people are serving only for status. It shows that religious meaning and social recognition can overlap. Women and men have different opportunities Some forms of service are open to both men and women. Sisters can, for example, preach, pioneer, conduct Bible studies, and take part in various practical tasks. Certain congregation roles, such as elder and ministerial servant, are assigned to baptized men according to Jehovah’s Witnesses’ religious beliefs. As a result, the term privilege can mean something different for different congregation members. For one person, a Bible study is an important spiritual responsibility. For another, an official appointment within the congregation may have great significance. Privileges and identity When someone spends years putting a lot of energy into such responsibilities, they can become part of that person’s identity. I am a pioneer. I conduct Bible studies. I am an elder. I work on projects. Those are not just activities. They can also say: who someone is within their community. The loss of a privilege can therefore be emotionally heavier than simply losing a task. When someone can do less Health, pregnancy, children, caregiving, work, age, or mental strain can mean that someone is temporarily or permanently able to do less. That does not automatically mean their faith is less sincere. Even so, someone may compare themselves with others. ‘She’s pioneering while also caring for her family.’ ‘He does so much in the congregation.’ ‘Why can’t I do that?’ Social comparison is human and happens in all kinds of communities. It can motivate, but it can also intensify guilt or feelings of inadequacy. Privileges can also bring a lot of joy It would be incomplete to look only at the burden. Many Jehovah’s Witnesses derive genuine joy from their activities. Preaching together can deepen friendships. A Bible study can make you feel that you truly mean something to someone. Cleaning or building a Hall together can create a sense of connection. A responsibility can give someone skills, structure, and confidence. People may even look back on that years later with warmth, even when their faith has since changed. Not every commitment is hidden pressure So the fact that someone spends many hours in the congregation does not automatically prove they are being exploited or pressured. Some people make a very conscious choice: ‘This is what I want to spend my time on.’ Just as someone can spend a lot of time on volunteer work, sports, caregiving, or an association. The more relevant question is rather: ‘Does this amount of involvement still fit what I want and can handle?’ But ‘it’s voluntary’ doesn’t tell the whole story either On the other hand, the word voluntary alone also does not say everything. People make choices within relationships, beliefs, and norms. Someone can genuinely be a volunteer and still feel guilty when they decline. Someone can personally take on a religious responsibility and still find that the social or inner threshold for stopping is high. Both sides deserve attention. Privilege, duty, or both? Maybe there does not need to be just one answer. The same activity can feel different at different times. On Saturday: ‘I feel like going in the field service.’ A month later, during a busy period: ‘I need rest, but I feel like I really should go.’ And later: ‘I’m glad I went after all.’ People are not always entirely voluntary or entirely coerced. Motivation can consist of a mixture of: faith, joy, habit, responsibility, love, guilt, appreciation, and expectation. What would real room for boundaries mean? Perhaps a useful yardstick is not whether someone never finds anything difficult. But rather: Can he say something is becoming too much? Can she refuse an assignment without seeing herself as bad or ungrateful? Can someone temporarily do less without feeling they are losing their spiritual worth? Where there is room for that, a privilege can more easily be experienced as genuinely voluntary service. For an active Jehovah’s Witness An active Jehovah’s Witness may read this very differently from someone who has left. He may sincerely think: ‘I do these things because I love Jehovah. No one needs to force me.’ That perspective deserves to be taken seriously. This article is not saying that privileges are really just obligations in disguise. It is exploring something else: how can something that is sincerely meaningful and voluntary also take so much of a person’s time and capacity? For someone looking back later Someone who is no longer active may have mixed feelings in hindsight. ‘I really found my Bible studies valuable.’ and: ‘I was actually tired all the time.’ ‘I felt honored that they trusted me.’ and: ‘I almost never dared to say no.’ Those memories do not need to be set against each other. One does not have to invalidate the other. Questions to think about What does the word ‘privilege’ mean to me? Which tasks truly give me joy and meaning? Which tasks currently cost me more than I can carry? Can I be grateful for an opportunity and still say no? Do I feel free to say: ‘I don’t have room for this right now’? What do I think about myself when I’m given a privilege? What do I think about myself when I’m not asked to do it? Does recognition play a role in my motivation? How much time do I spend in total on work, family, congregation, and other responsibilities? Do I leave enough time for rest, health, and my family? Do I do this mainly because I want to, because I see it as my responsibility, because others are counting on me — or do all of these play a role? Can I value the privilege without ignoring my own limits? Summary Among Jehovah’s Witnesses, privilege is used for all kinds of forms of service. That can range from preaching, conducting a Bible study, and cleaning the Kingdom Hall to taking on greater responsibilities within the congregation. For many active Jehovah’s Witnesses, the word is exactly right: they truly experience it as an honor to be able to do something for Jehovah. A privilege can also convey recognition. When someone is asked because he or she is seen as reliable, capable, or spiritually mature, that can mean a lot. At the same time, service costs time and energy. Work, children, marriage, household, health, and rest do not disappear because someone has a religious responsibility. As a result, the same person can sincerely say: ‘I considered it a privilege.’ and: ‘It actually became too much for me.’ That does not have to be a contradiction. Perhaps the most important question is therefore not: ‘Was it voluntary or was it an obligation?’ but: ‘Could I find something valuable and at the same time feel free enough to say: I can’t carry this right now?’ Sources JW.org / Watchtower Online Library - publications about preaching and Christian service JW.org / Watchtower Online Library - publications about Bible studies and helping interested and inactive people JW.org - information about Kingdom Halls, maintenance, and volunteer service JW.org / Watchtower Online Library - information about pioneers, ministerial servants, and elders American Psychological Association - general information about motivation, social influence, and positive reinforcement Edward L. Deci & Richard M. Ryan - Self-Determination Theory Robert B. Cialdini - research on social influence See also in the A-Z Encyclopedia of Psychology I - Internalization - How can values and expectations from outside become part of your own internal standards? L - Loyalty conflict - What happens when different forms of loyalty clash? S - Social influence - How do other people influence our choices without direct coercion being necessary? S - Socialization - How do we learn which behaviors and values are important within our environment? Also read on ExJW.World G - Faith upbringing - How are faith, norms, and habits passed on? O - Elder - What task, responsibility, and influence does an elder have? O - Organizational structure - How is leadership organized within Jehovah’s Witnesses? V - Free will - How free does a choice feel when conviction, responsibility, and expectations all