P - Perfectionism

P - Perfectionism When “good enough” feels like failure Recognizable questions Why do I find mistakes so difficult? Why do I put things off if I can’t do them perfectly? When is high quality healthy, and when does it become burdensome? What is it? Perfectionism is more than wanting to work carefully. Problematic perfectionism arises when extremely high standards combine with strong self-criticism, fear of mistakes, or the feeling that your worth depends on performance. Why can our brain do this? High standards can support success, but when mistakes feel like a threat to self-worth or acceptance, a person may avoid, check, or never feel satisfied. Example from daily life You spend hours on a simple email because every sentence has to be perfect, and in the end you hardly dare to send it. How can this occur within close or closed groups? In families, schools, workplaces, and faith communities, strong standards can contribute to perfectionistic pressure. Some (ex-)Jehovah’s Witnesses, for example, recognize the desire to be a “good example.” That is not universal, and perfectionism often has multiple causes. What can you do with it? Decide in advance what “good enough” means. Practice deliberately with small imperfections. See a mistake as information, not as a total judgment of yourself. Questions to think about What standard am I imposing on myself? Who would consider this “good enough”? What does my pursuit of perfection cost me? Summary Quality and effort are valuable. Perfectionism becomes a problem especially when mistakes seem to deny your humanity.